Our Final Journey
by Lillyxwhite
Summary: Bellamy and Clarke find a bunker filled with rows of teenagers frozen in cryo-pods, most of them are dead. This is the story of the one who made it. Waking up in 2149 surrounded by unruly teenagers, Toby has to accept that she's not in 2019 anymore.
1. Day Trip

**Day Trip**

 **3rd Person POV**

"Come on Bellamy, pick up the pace." Clarke yells to the man behind her.

He widens his strides and catches up with her. "Do you remember what happened the last time we went looking for one of the supply depots on you stupid map?" He groans.

"You made sure we weren't followed this time, and it's right there so there isn't a point in going back to camp empty handed."

They both stop at the entrance to the bunker and stare at the door for a moment. Bellamy walks up to it and grabs the handle, giving it a strong pull. It creaks open, seemingly leading to a long dark tunnel. They step inside and lighting up their flashlights they walk down the steps into the darkness.

"Let's split up, we'll be able to search faster." Clarke suggests. "And then you can get back to camp like you want too."

They turn away from each other and begin to search different areas of the bunker. A few moments and cobwebs later, Bellamy hears Clarke calling for him from her side. He jogs over and finds her standing in front of a large door.

"What do you think is behind it?" He asks.

Clarke shrugs. "There's only one way to find out." She gestures towards the door, meaning for him to open it.

"I am always the muscle right?" He jokes.

"Would you just open it Bellamy?" She tells him.

He wrenches open the door and they stand shocked. In front of them are rows upon rows of pods. The tunnel seemingly goes on forever. Most of the pods are black, and neither of the two can see inside of them. But they keep walking and eventually come to a glowing yellow one.

"It's a- it's a girl?"

They stare at each other and then back down at the sleeping girl in the pod at their feet.

"What the hell do we do?" Bellamy looks at Clarke worried.

She rolls her shoulders back and crouches down. "We get her out."

They take opposite sides of the pod and look for a way to get her out. Bellamy brushes dirt off the bottom of the pod and notices something. "Hey, look."

"Tatianna Riley Masse." Clarke whispers."That must be her name."

They grab both sides of the pod lid and push upwards, attempting to pry it open. It works and and fog dissipates around them. They get a better look at the sleeping girl. "She looks so peaceful."

Clarke grabs underneath her arms and slides her out of the pod onto the floor. She grabs her wrist to check her pulse and lets out a sigh of relief. "Her pulse is steady and she's breathing."

"Great, now what?" Bellamy asks. "We just wait for her to wake up?"

"Let's get her back to camp." Clarke tells him. "We will know more once she wakes up."

-/-

 **Tatianna POV**

I jolt awake at the sound of people moving around me. I look around and my eyes narrow in suspicion. There are people I don't know surrounding me in a place I'm not familiar with.

"Where the hell am I?" I say to my crowd of captors.

A man walks towards me with his hands up. "You're in our camp. We found you in a pod in a supply depot and we brought you back here to keep you safe."

"What are you talking about." I stand up and keep my back to the wall.

Another person walks towards me. "My name is Clarke." She gestures to the man. "This is Bellamy. Can you tell us who you are?"

I slowly inch towards what I think is the exit. "Call me Toby."

"Do you remember anything?" Clarke asks me.

I stop and think, I actually cannot remember anything, but I won't let them know that. "Why would I tell you? You kidnapped me."

"Hey, hey, hey. We didn't kidnap you. We rescued you." Bellamy steps forward.

I try and think back, but it's as if there's a cloud in my mind, blocking me from remembering. Apparently it shows in my eyes because Clarke steps forward, looking worried.

"Can I ask you some questions?" I nod and she continues. "What is your full name."

"Tatianna Riley Masse."

She nods. "We saw that on the side of your pod."

"What pod? What are you talking about?" I ask her, confused.

Clarke and Bellamy give each other a look. "Can you tell me where you think we are?"

"Probably Alberta, Canada. Unless you took me across a provinces border." I tell them.

Now it's her turn to be confused. "Alberta? Canada?"

"Yeah, obviously. That's where I live."

She steps towards me and I lean away from her. "You must be confused. There haven't been provinces since before the missiles?"

I laugh. "What missiles? Are you all on drugs or something?"

"What's the date?" Bellamy asks me.

I shrug. "Yesterday it was June 16th, so today it's June 17th."

"And the year?" He means for me to continue.

"2019." I tell them.

Everyone stumbles back, and silence falls among the crowd as they process what I just told them.

"You think it's 2019?" Clarke asks me.

I smirk at her. "All year long. Now can you let me go so I can go home? I've got school."

Bellamy walks towards me and crouches down so he's eye level with me. "Listen, it's not 2019. It's 2149."

I hear the number that he tells me and I burst out laughing. "Oh god, you people really are crazy." I push Bellamy away from me. "But seriously, let me go."

"You think we're crazy? Then let's go outside. Have a look around." He suggests.

The crowd parts and I follow Clarke and Bellamy outside. At first glance it looks just like a normal forest, with group of teenagers going camping. But then I look closer. Their clothes are patchy, torn and then mended over and over again. The tents are dirty and don't look like any I've ever seen before. There's a wall on the far side, made out of logs and sheet metal. I stumble and turn around. I look up and up and up.

"This is impossible." I mutter under my breath. I spin around and begin to walk towards the wall. "This is impossible."

-/-

 **Clarke POV**

I watch as the girl walks away from us. Muttering under her breath and stumbling with each step. "Bellamy she's going to pass out."

"You don't know that."

I look up at him. "I do know. I would. That is an unimaginable thing, she's probably in shock."

Sure enough the girl trips and falls to her knees. I jog over and put my hands on her shoulders. She flinches away from me and drops her head in her hands. Eventually her body shuts down and she falls to the ground. Bellamy comes over and picks her up gently, bringing her back to the drop ship. I follow him and tell the crowd of people to clear out so we can have peace.

"She'll come through it. She will." Bellamy reassures me.

I shake my head. "Sure, she'll wake up again, but then what? She has a one hundred and thirty year gap in her head."

"What do you think happened? It's like she has no idea about the pod, or being put in there."

We both turn to look at the sleeping girl. A tear slips down her cheek and her eyes flutter open. She stares at the top of the drop ship for a long time, and Bellamy and I just sit and watch her.

"School was almost over." She starts and I begin to stand up but she holds out her hand. "I was so excited, I was going to be graduating in the next year. It was summer so it was always hot at night." Her voice cracks and more tears begin to gather beneath her eyes. "I had trouble falling asleep when it was so hot, not even a fan was helping. My mom gave me some of her sleeping pills. I took them and then I fell asleep. And I- and I woke up here."

She swings her legs over the edge of the cot and sits up. We watch her stand up and walk over to us. She holds out her hand and I shake it. "Pleased to meet you Toby." I tell her with a small smile.

A sob escapes from her. "You too Clarke." She looks over at Bellamy. "You too Bellamy." She steps back. "Could you take me back to the pods?"

I nod. "Of course. We'll leave in an hour."

-/-

 **Toby POV**

I stand in front of my pod and stare down at it. This was where I slept for one hundred and thirty years. I kneel down and start to shift the dirt around it, looking for anything that could explain how I got there. A metal box glints at the bottom where my feet would have been and I pull it out. I shuffle back and sit on the dirty floor with the box in front of me. I slowly open the lid and look at the items inside.

I pull out the first item on top, my favourite book; Oliver Twist. I smile through the tears at the dog eared pages and notes at the ends of the chapters. There's one of my paper cranes, slightly squashed underneath the book, but I adjust it and it looks like like it ever did. "If you fold one thousand paper cranes you get a wish." I laugh to myself and place it next to the book.

The last thing I pull out is my great grandmother's engagement ring. My mom gave it to me a couple months before that night. She told me the story that goes along with it, and all the love it helped to join together. I put the three items back in the box and close the lid.

I stand up and walk further into the tunnel, looking for more live pods. I look in every window, searching for a face. Eventually I get to a darkened pod and let out a small scream. I kneel down and pry the lid off the pod. Grunting as I pull the person out onto the ground.

"Come on, please wake up. Please wake up." I shake her slightly, tears dropping onto her face. "Please Bria, don't leave me here alone."

I press my forehead to hers and hum our song.

 _You look so calm, not one bit scared_

 _In the monster's stare._

 _What I got, I'll share._

 _So let em' burn the world._

 _If a cardboard castle is all we have, love_

 _We can make it sweet._

I brush my fingertips along her nose and across her brow, down to her cheeks and her lips. I twirl a lock of her hair on my finger. "Your pod must have shutdown not long ago. You couldn't have waited?" I laugh quietly. "You never could be patient." I kiss her gently, like I used to when she was asleep and when I had to slip out before curfew. "I'm not mad though, I could never be mad at you."

I gently lower her head to the floor and move back to her pod. I reach down and grab her box. I pull it out and sit next to her. "What did your parents leave for you, hm?"

A letter, from her sister probably. I don't want to read it, because I know how important Tessa was to Bria. Sisterly love was the one line I won't cross. I place the letter underneath her folded hands and turn back to the box. My promise ring, I gave it to her a year after we started dating. I slide it onto my finger and stand up. "I made a promise to you. To love you, now and forever." Bellamy and Clarke have been standing back and watching until now. I grab Clarke's hand and close my eye, leaning my head back. "May the waters wash you clean, may you walk through the valley of death with no fear. We will love again."

I pull my hand from Clarkes and turn around. "Wait, don't you want to bury her?" She asks me.

"I just did. Look around."


	2. Unity Day

**Unity Day**

 **Toby POV**

"Okay so wait, slow down. Unity Day means what?" I asked Clarke

"It's they we celebrate the joining of the stations into the Ark. Japan, Australia, Canada, France, Brazil, China, Uganda, United Kingdom, India-"

I interrupt her. "Russia, USA and Venezuela. That's all great and everything but there was only one space station in orbit. The ISS. None of the other countries had even been up there except Russia, Canada, the US and the UK."

"Not until after 2025." She corrects me.

I sigh. "Of course not."

"Hey, you'll get it soon. Come on." She waves for me to follow her out of the drop ship.

We join up with the group of teenagers watching Chancellor Jahas speech. Clarke leaves me to go stand with Finn. Jasper comes walking out of his tent with a giant jug. "Yeah! Monty strikes again! Call this batch Unity Juice!" He starts filling up teenagers canteens and I look around confused. I stand back and watch as they all crowd around Jasper to get some of the alcohol.

"You don't want any?" Finn asks me.

I shrug. "I'm not old enough to drink."

"Oh kid. You're older than all of us." He laughs.

"Whatever." I wander away from him and stand at the edge of the camp, staring into the forest.

I get touchy whenever anyone mentions my time in cryo-freeze. It's still something I cannot fully comprehend or accept yet. There are times I still hope that if I pinch myself hard enough I'll wake up.

-/-

Clarke brings me with her to talk to Bellamy. "The comms are still dead, they cut out during the pageant."

"Best Unity Day ever." He jokes and Clarke laughs.

"Do you really think now's a good time to be having a party? I mean, the grounder is out there." She tells him worried.

I put my hand into my pockets. "Yes and I do believe that everyone is under the legal drinking age but you. " I say pointedly to Bellamy.

He just rolls his eyes. "Grounders. By now he's headed home, probably putting together a lynch mob." He watches the anxiety play across Clarkes face. "Relax, we've got security covered. Why don't you go get a drink? You look like you could use one." He suggests.

Clarke smiles and walks away. "I could use more than one." She says over her shoulder.

"Than have more than one. You deserve it." He yells at her retreating back.

I watch him watch her walk away. I don't do a very good job of being subtle though because he must catch me looking. "I-I wasn't."

"Don't worry about it. You should go have a drink too." He tells me.

I shake my head. "A drink is the last thing I need right now, believe me."

"Then talk to me." He suggests.

I look around. "Aren't you a little bit busy guarding everyone?"

"I can multitask." He smirks.

I snuggle deeper into the jacket I was given. "What do you want to know?"

"What was it like, in your time?"

I look up at the stars. "That's a lot of information for one talk. You're going to have to get specific."

"Okay, who was that girl in the tunnel?" He asks quietly.

I close my eyes. "That was Bria Callahan, my girlfriend." I swallow the lump in my throat and continue. "I met her when I was fourteen. She was fifteen at the time, but that didn't matter too much to either of us. We started dating a few months after we met. We were inseparable."

"You loved her?" He prods.

I open my eyes and look into his. "Yes, I did. But it doesn't matter now." I pat his arm. "I'm going to go get a drink after all. You deserve one too."

I walk over to the fire and someone hands me a cup of moonshine. I swig it down with a grimace. It doesn't matter what year it is. Alcohol burns no matter what, and doesn't taste any better either.

-/-

I stumble into a tent hours later and bump into a crate in front of the door. I giggle and sit down on it.

"Hello?" A small voice calls from the bed.

I stand up and smile. "Sorry I thought this one was empty." I turn around to go.

"No, it's alright. I don't mind. Some warning would be nice next time though." He sits up. "I don't believe we've met. Monty Green."He holds out his hand.

I stumble over and shake it. "Toby Masse."

"You're that girl Clarke and Bellamy found in cryo-freeze." He questions.

I roll my eyes. "Correct good sir, that is me."

"Are you drunk?" He asks

I cross my arms. "Why aren't you? You made the stuff."

"I wanted to sleep rather than drink."

I open the tent flap. "Well that's lame. It was good to meet you Monty Green."

I wave and step out of the tent. Not knowing where to go from here. I don't want to keep waking up in the drop ship, but apparently all the tents are taken.

"Over here Toby!" I hear a call. I turn and see Raven, Finns maybe girlfriend calling me over to their tent. I walk over and open the tent flap. I sit down in one of the chairs and close my eyes. Falling into a restless sleep.

-/-

I wake up and the tent is empty. Raven's gone and as far as I know Finn never even came in. I stand up and stretch, loosening the stiff joints in my body. I have a killer headache and I know that I drank too much last night. I shouldn't have let myself drink that much, and lose so much self control. The camp is quiet, most of the teenagers are nursing hangovers in their own tents so I try to be as quiet as possible as I make my way to the wall. I notice that there are less guards at their posts than there were last night. I know that if Bellamy knew that he would not be happy about it. I walk to the gate and notice that no one has tried to tell my to back off yet. I push the gate open and no one does anything to stop me. Bellamy really would be pissed.

I walk through the gate and into the forest. Running my hands along the bark I breathe in the scents of the woods. I used to live near a forest, the smell is familiar to me. I want to try and find a river, I haven't had a shower in one hundred and thirty years. I smile at the joke and wonder if it'll ever get old. Very quickly I hope.

I was never very good in the outdoors so very quickly I realize that I shouldn't have left camp. I should have waited to ask someone to take me outside of the wall. I turn around and look at the barrier in the distance. I take a step towards it and then stop. I sit down and lean against a tree. I pull the moss from the ground and run it between my fingers. I wasn't surprised that eventually we released nuclear warfare. In my time it had been looming over our heads. I'm more surprised that it took so long for it to happen.

-/-

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know it's pitch black outside. I hear people huffing and I walk towards the sound. Clarke, Bellamy, Finn, Octavia, Jasper and Raven are panting just outside the wall.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" I ask carefully. Jasper jumps and shoots a bullet off to the side of my arm. "Oh gee thanks."

Bellamy steps forwards. "We need to get inside the wall. Now. I don't even want to know what you're doing outside of it." He turns to Finn. "You got something to say?"

"Yeah! I told you, no guns." He yells at Bellamy.

Clarke steps in. "i told you we couldn't trust the grounders. I was right!"

"Why didn't you tell me what you were up too?" Raven asks Finn angrily,

I look around. "Guys, if you started a war then I think we should listen to Bellamy and get inside the wall."

"Stay out of it." Octavia says.

I step away while they continue to argue with each other and walk back into camp. I look up to the sky and watch something fall to the ground. It explodes against the side of the mountain in a ball of fire. I hope it wasn't our rescuers.


	3. I Am Become Death

**I Am Become Death**

 **Toby POV**

Everyone is gone. They went to sleep after the ship crashed and then woke up early this morning to go check it out. Bellamy didn't want to bring me along, he was worried about me getting lost or slowing them down on the way there.

I wander around the camp watching people go about their daily chores. People salting meat and hanging the pieces up in the smoke house. People sorting nuts and fruit into packages. I feel so useless. I never got the training that they all did before they were sent down here. I don't know anything about mechanics or chemistry. About shooting a weapon or hand to hand combat. Nothing that could be useful here. I just know to to write stories, how to tell them and how to bring characters to life in the minds of the listeners. And I can sing, but that isn't much help either.

-/-

Everyone is crowded around the fire listening to Jasper retell the story of how he killed two grounders at the negotiation when someone or something trips the trip-wire.

"Somebody hit the trip wire!" One of the guards warns and all of the shooters aim their guns outside of the wall, using the sights to keep watch.

"I got nothing. Connor?" He asks the guy next to him.

Connor looks through the sights on his gun out towards the trip-wire. "No, Nothing."

"There, there, there!" The first guard fires off two bullets into whatever he sees in the dark.

He backs away. "I think I got it."

"You better have, or you just wasted two bullets that could have helped against the grounders." I mutter, hoping he hears me.

I walk towards Octavia, she looks worried. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just hope he got it." She tells me, walking quickly away from us.

I look through the wall to hopefully see what she saw, but all I can see is a white lily in the crook of a tree. I shrug and sit back down at the fire.

-/-

"Here, drink this." I hold a cup of water up to the guys lips. He drinks in big gulps as if he hasn't had water in months.

"Thank you." I nod and reach down to grab a rag to wipe the blood off his face.

I soak it in some water and gently pat down the gashes on his neck and face. "I don't need to know what happened."

"I'm Murphy." He tells me. "You didn't come down in the drop ship."

I smile. "No I didn't. You can call me Toby." I pat his hand and continue to wipe the blood off.

"Where is he?" I hear Bellamy ask angrily. Everyone else backs away and I don't even look up. "Toby leave him to bleed."

I stand up, dropping the rag onto the floor. "Why? He's injured."

"Because he's a murderer." Bellamy says. "Now move away." I step back into the ring of people and watch. "Everyone but Connor and Derek out. Now!"

Everyone moves to follow his commands but I stay where I am, I don't know what happened in the past, but I want to understand what happened. Clarke and Finn are on either side of Bellamy, watching just like I am.

"He claims he was with the grounders." Derek tells Bellamy.

"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp." Connor finishes.

Murphy sits up straighter. "I wasn't sneaking. I was running from the grounders." He tries to explain.

"Anyone see grounders?" Bellamy asks. Connor shakes his head no. "Well in that case."

Bellamy points his rifle at Murphy but Finn puts his hand on it to lower it. "Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"We were clear on what would happen if he came back." Bellamy trains his rifle on Murphy again.

I pick the rag up off the ground. "Hey Bellamy, why can't he live. It's not like he's in any position to make trouble."

Finn steps in front of the rifle. "Popsicle's right. And if he was with the grounders then he knows things that can help us."

"Help us? We hanged him, we banished him and now we're going to kill him." Bellamy finishes.

My eyes widen. "You did what."

He looks at me and falters. His facade crumbling for only a moment. "Get the hell out of my way."

"No. Finn and Toby are right." Clarke steps forward, she takes she rag from my hands and goes over to Murphy.

"Like hell they are!" Bellamy yells. He's waving the gun around and I really hope that he remembers to put the safety on. "Clarke, think about Charlotte."

She turns to face him. "I am thinking about her. But what happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as it was his." She examines his hands. "He's not lying. His fingernails were torn off." She looks at Murphys face. "They tortured him."

"I'll go get fresh water." I tell her.

She nods. "Bring back some of Monty's moonshine. We need to disinfect theses wounds."

I walk outside the drop ship door, finding a crowd of teenagers outside.

"Well? We haven't heard a shot yet." One of them yells.

I push through. "You won't hear one. So clear out and get back to whatever the hell you were supposed to be doing."

-/-

Bellamy finds me sitting on the wall, staring out into the forest. "You should get down from there."

"You need to elaborate Blake." I say in a monotone voice without even looking at him.

"Toby-" He starts. He shakes his head. "You don't know what it was like in the first few days. We were on our own for the first time in our lives."

"That doesn't give you the excuse to hang people."

He puts his hand on my arm. "No, you're right. Would you please come down from there?"

I push myself off and into his arms. "Fine, now continue."

"Can we go to my tent to talk please?" He gestures in the direction of his tent and starts walking.I follow him through the camp and into his tent. I stare at him silently. Waiting for him to continue. "We thought he had killed someone."

"Wells."

He nods. "We found Murphys knife next to two of Wells's fingers, so we assumed he'd killed him."

"But it was actually Charlotte." I finish.

He sits down. "We hung him up in a tree. If she didn't confess we would've hung him to death."

"So you banished him?"

He runs his hands through his hair. "I said that if he ever came back I would kill him."

"That shouldn't be your choice to make alone. Especially not after what just happened."

"I know that. But everyone else looks up to me. I'm their leader." He sits down heavily and places the rifle on a crate.

I place a hand on his bicep. "Bellamy. If he's telling the truth, then you need to listen to him. He could save us all."

"I know. But what if he's lying."

I sit down across from him. "Then you find some other way to deal with it. But from experience, violence is not the answer." I smile at him. "Unless Finn calls me popsicle again. In which case, I get to murder him."

"Okay, fair enough." He smiles back at me. "If you want, you can sleep in my tent. I've heard that you've been looking for one."

I rub the back of my neck. "Monty told you?"

"Oh no, but I hear things." He winks.

I lay down on his cot stretching out gratefully. "Thanks Bellamy." I close my eyes and listen to the wind brush over the parachute. I think I'm imagining things because I feel someone brush my hair out of my face.

-/-

I wake up coughing. I cover my mouth with my hand and sputter. When I pull my hand away there's blood in my palm. I stand up, a feeling of dizziness washes over me and I almost fall back onto the bed.

"Bellamy. Bell wake up." I nudge his foot and he slowly opens his eyes.

He stares at my face for a second before jumping up. "Toby, your face."

I reach up, feeling something dripping down my cheek. I look at my fingers and stare and the blood covering them. "Bellamy, I don't feel so good."

I start to sway on my feet and he puts his arm around me to support me out. We walk out of his tent and towards the drop ship. I can hear other people calling for Clarke, but Bellamy joins in. "Clarke, come quickly! It's Toby!"

My legs give out and I fall into Bellamy, he shifts his arms and lifts me up. My head lolls against his arm. "Bellamy-"

"Shhh, you're going to be okay." He brings me into the drop ship and lays me down. Clarke is in there talking to Murphy. "Clarke, I need help over here."

She comes over right away and puts her hands on either side of my head. I try to smile but blood streams out of my mouth. "Heya Clarke."

She looks up at Bellamy right as my vision starts to cloud over. "Bell, this is bad."

-/-

 **Bellamy POV**

Toby goes limp under us. "What the hell is this?" He asks.

She goes back over to Murphy. "Biological warfare. We were waiting for the grounders to retaliate for the bridge? This is it. Murphy's the weapon."

I pull a blanket over Toby and fold one for under her head. I stand up and loom over Murphy. "Is this your revenge? Helping the grounders kill us?"

"I didn't know about this. I swear." He tries to explain.

"Stop lying! I wanted to listen to Toby when she said that we should assume you're telling the truth! But look at where that got her!" I gesture to the blood covered girl. "When are they coming?"

Clarke leans forward. "Murphy, think. What can you tell us that's useful? Did you hear anything?"

He shakes his head. "They are vicious. Cruel."

"You want to see vicious?" I'm going to kill him for bringing this here. For making my people sick.

I hear a coughing behind me and turn around to see Toby choking. "Clarke."

"I know. We have to get her on her side." We both rush over to the girl and gently roll her over.

"She's still bleeding." I tell Clarke.

She looks at me with worry clouding her eyes. "I know, and I don't know when it's going to stop."

Derek starts to cough and convulse next to Toby. He coughs out some blood then lies still. Clarke runs over to check his pulse while Finn grabs her arm.

"Is he?"

Clarke stands up. "Dead." She grabs a bottle of moonshine. "Hold out your hands." She dumps the moonshine over Finns hands to clean them. "You too Bellamy, you brought Toby in."

I hold out my hands and she pours the alcohol over them.

"So what do we do?" Finn asks Clarke.

She looks around the dropship. "Quarantine. Round up everyone who had contact with Murphy, bring them here."

Finn leaves quickly. "And everyone they had contact with?" I ask Clarke forcefully. I know this isn't her fault. But I'm trying really hard to not blame Murphy. I know it's what Toby wants.

"Well we have to start somewhere." She reminds me. "Do you know if Toby had contact with anyone other than you?"

I shake my head. "No, just me."

"Connor, who was with you when you found him? Who carried him in?" Clarke asks the other guard.

He struggles to lift his head. "The first one there was Octavia."

Clarke looks at me worried. She should be, I don't even know why anyone allowed my sister to leave camp. Some other guard should have been there instead of her, and now because of that she may die.

-/-

 **Toby POV**

Everything burns, it feels like my body is on fire. And everything just hurts. I feel another lump of blood rise in my throat and I start coughing. I can barely move, and anxiety clouds my brain as I choke and cough on my own blood.

"Hey, hey you're okay." Clarke comes over and helps clear the blood out of my mouth. "You're going to be just fine."

I groan. "I don't want to die Clarke." I can taste the blood on my tongue and spit it out onto the floor.

"You aren't going to die Toby. I promise." She pats down my forehead with a cold cloth. "I just need to go talk to Bellamy alright. You wait here."

She motions for Murphy to come over and sit with me. I try to smile but I doubt it looks like one. "Good afternoon."

We hear screaming outside and I turn onto my back, trying to sit up. ""Whoa, wait . No. I am under orders to keep you alive." He jokes.

Finn comes rushing in with Clarke in his arms. He lays her down on Murphy's hammock. "What else did Lincoln tell you?" He asks Octavia.

"The virus doesn't last long." She explains.

I laugh darkly. "I find that hard to believe."

Murphy hands me a cup of water. "Here, drink this. You need to stay hydrated."

I push it away. The thought of putting anything into my body makes me nauseous. "No, give it to someone else." I croak.

A blinding pain suddenly shoots through my mind, and I can't help it as my eyes roll back into my head and my body starts convulsing. I can hear people calling my name, but I can't move to try and console them. I watched the two other dead kids die like this. First you seize and then the blood pours out of your mouth and then you die.

My body stops seizing and everything fades to black as my body and mind shut down.

-/-

 **Clarke POV**

After passing out I feel marginally better, but enough so that I can get up and walk around to help. Murphy's still sitting with Toby in the corner.

He looks up at me sadly as I get closer. "She seized and she hasn't woken up yet."

"If she's still breathing and still has a pulse then we have hope." I place two fingers on her neck just to check. "Go help the others, I'll sit with her.'

She probably has a compromised immune system, after spending all those years frozen in a pod. But it is worrying that for everyone else it's passing quickly and she is still sick. Murphy starts trouble with Bellamy, so I brush a strand of hair off of her face and walk over to solve the problem.

"Hey, I got this one." I tell Murphy. We switch places and he hands me the water. "Here." I sit down next to Bellamy and offer him the cup.

He takes it but doesn't drink. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah." I nod.

He smiles. "That's good." He looks over at Toby's sleeping form. "She's still sick?"

"She had a seizure Bellamy. I don't know when she'll wake up." I hesitate. "Or if she will."

He shakes his head. "She will, she's survived for this long."

"She was starting to grow on me."

He smirks. "Yeah, me too." He looks around. "Have you seen Octavia?"

"She was up all night helping people, Murphy gave her a break." I tell him.

He scoff. "Don't tell me you trust him now."

"Trust? No. I do believe in second chances though. And I think Toby was on to something with him."

-/-

 **Toby POV**

I push myself into a sitting position and look around the dropship, I find Clarke and Bellamy sitting together. Slowly I wobble into standing and grab a cup of water. I shuffle over and hand Clarke the cup of water.

"Surprise." I mumble before plopping down in front of her and Bellamy.

He ruffles my hair. "Good to see you alive kid."

"I don't feel very alive to be honest." I roll my eyes.

"When was the last time you drank something?" Clarke asks worriedly.

I smile. "One hundred and thirty years ago."

She pushes the untouched cup of water into my hands. "Drink this. I'm going to get everyone inside."

Bellamy gives me a pointed look. "What?" I shrug. "I don't hydrate."

"You're going to have too. You need water to live."

I take a sip from the cup. "I've gone a lot longer without water when I was home."

"This time is different." He tells me.

I don't look at him. "God don't I know it."

"Hey, you'll get used to it." He offers his hand. "Come on, let's get some air."

We stand outside the dropship with Clarke. With a loud bang a mushroom cloud rises in the distance.

"I am become death." I hear Clarke start.

"Destroyer of worlds." I finish stepping forward. I hear her talking to Bellamy but I can't make out any words. "That's what my friends and family died in." I mutter.

Clarke and Bellamy walk up behind me, each putting a hand on my shoulder. I turn to Bellamy sadly. A single tear tracking down my cheek. "There was nothing you could have done."

"No, but I could have died with them. Holding their hands, kissing their cheeks."

"But you would have died." He reminds me.

I square my shoulders. "We all have to die some day."


	4. The Calm

**Toby POV**

I am not afraid to die, not anymore. Who I was before I woke up in that pod was afraid, she was terrified. But who I am now is ready to face it with open arms. And I think that scares Bellamy and Clarke. After the bomb went off we all stood together and watched the smoke clear. Then they left to prepare for war.

It's been two days since, and no grounders have made any attempts to come close to our camp. Everything has been eerily silent, not a single grounder.

"God do I miss flushing toilets." I exclaim, walking up behind Clarke.

She doesn't take her eyes off the tree. "Hmm?"

"Hello?" I wave my hand in front of her eyes. "Earth to Clarke."

"Anything?" Bellamy asks trudging up the hill to Clarkes side.

She shakes her head and sighs. "It's been two days, maybe the bomb at the bridge scared them off for good."

"You believe that?" He gives her a look.

I step forward. "One can only hope." I start walking into the trees.

"Where do you think you're going?" Clarke calls after me.

I swing my hands up. "To miss flushing toilets!"

-/-

"I'm going to just follow you around until you give me something to do." I tell Bellamy happily, knowing that he won't give me a job.

He stops and turns to me. "And what can you contribute?"

"An extensive history lesson?" I smile.

We start walking again. "Yes because that is so helpful. Come on, grab a spear, we're going hunting."

I pick a spear up from the tarp on the ground and follow Bellamy out of the wall. We walk in silence for a few moments, I start to get tired of the quiet.

"Bellamy." I start, trying to think up what to say. "Thanks, for helping when I was sick."

"No problem kid." He doesn't look at me.

I cross my arms. "Why do you call me kid? I'm the age as Clarke, well aside from a couple hundred years."

"Because you act differently than the rest of us. More innocent." He explains.

"I used to be." I answer quietly.

He turns his head and stares. "Once this war is over then-"

"Then what Bellamy? I'll suddenly be able to breathe again? I'll forget all the people I ever knew? There is a weight on my chest constantly and I don't think it'll ever go away." I try to keep my voice level but it waivers.

He stops and I almost crash into his back. We've arrived at a river, but there's a rock damming it up ahead so there's a lake forming. I pull off my boots and socks, placing them on the bank. Then I take off my pants and top, leaving my underwear and bra on. I walk over the rocks towards the water, gasping as the cold water washes over my legs, then my waist and my shoulders.

"We can't swim." Bellamy calls to me from the shore.

I dunk my head underwater and push off from the bottom, propelling myself just under the surface. I break into the air and laugh. "You space people may not. But I can."

He sits on the rocks and watches me swim. Our hunt entirely forgotten.

-/-

I open the tarp of Monty and Jaspers tent. "What're you people up too?"

"Testing a new recipe for moonshine." Monty hands me a cup. "Tell me what you think."

I take a sip, wincing at the burning sensation on my throat. "It's definitely alcoholic that's for sure."

"Never a fan of alcohol?" Jasper asks smiling.

I smirk. "I was a fan, I just prefer cinnamon schnapps to moonshine."

"Schnapps?" They both ask curiously.

I shake my head. "Nevermind. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can be our resident taste tester." Monty suggests.

I laugh. "Oh god I'm going to be so drunk when this is over."

-/-

I stumble out of the tent and into the night air. Everything is swirling around me and it's all making me giggle. Bellamy walks up to me on his way to the dropship. "Oh hello Mr. Bellamy sir." I smile

"Are you drunk?" He asks seriously.

I pat him on the chest. "Only a little. I was taste testing."

"They let you keep drinking? God Toby can you even walk straight?" He seems to be getting angry.

I giggle. "Nope, but does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters. Come on. I'll help you get to the tent."

He wraps an arm around me and supports my weight as we shuffle into his tent. He lays me on the bed and I curl around the blanket. "You're so nice. Everyone thinks you're scary. But you actually care."

"Get some sleep, I'll be back in the morning."

He starts to leave but I grab the hem of his jacket. "Where are you going? It's dangerous out there."

"Clarke and Finn haven't come back from hunting yet, so we're going to look for them. Can you promise that you'll stay in camp?"

I nod and close my eyes. "I promise."

"Good, you'll be safe inside the walls." He smiles softly.

"I'd be safer if you were here." I murmur.

He brushes a lock of hair from my face. "Just stay in camp."


	5. We Are Grounders Part 1

**Toby POV**

I am never drinking again. No matter how many different versions of moonshine Monty and Jasper put in front of me, I will refuse. It is the second time I have been hungover since waking up from that is two times too many for my taste. I roll over, noticing that this time I am missing a Bellamy. And I don't have a hemorrhagic fever. I pull on a coat and stumble out into the open air. All the teenagers are strangely more quiet than normal. No one is chatting or joking, their eyes are all downcast, and the flickering from the fires casts ominous shadows on everyone's faces.

It's still dark so I decide to go to the dropship and see if I can help with anything. I pull aside the parachute and walk in. Murphy has a gun loaded and is circling Jasper.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask both of them. Murphy points the gun at me and I walk towards Jasper. "You don't have to do this. They were starting to trust you again." I reason with him.

"They were never going to trust me again. Besides, it doesn't matter now." He smirks.

Jasper holds up us hands. "Murphy, just put the gun down."

He looks over at the injured boy on the bed. "He tried to kill me."

Jasper starts backing out of the dropship and Murphy holds up the gun. "Hey, don't move!"

I walk slowly in front of Jasper. "Let him go outside Murphy."

"No, you know what'll happen if he tells Bellamy."

Jaspers walkie-talkie crackles. " _Tell Bellamy what_?"

"Murphy it doesn't matter now, just let him give you the radio and then he'll leave." I try and get Jasper out of the dropship.

He cocks the gun. "Give me the radio Jasper."

Jasper slowly reaches into his pocket and pulls out the radio. He hands it to me and I turn to look at him. "Tell him. Go."

I turn back to Murphy as Jasper backs out of the dropship. He shoves me with the gun. "Pull the lever. Close the door."

I turn my back to him and pull the lever that closes the dropship door. I put my hands on my head and look him in the eye. "You don't have to do this."

I hear Bellamy yelling outside. "Murphy! Murphy open the damn door!"

"You try and be the hero, Toby dies!" He answers. "Now get on your knees."

I kneel down slowly and keep eye contact with him. "Murphy you didn't need to do this."

"You weren't there. I would have let you go if you didn't have as much of a death wish." He tells me.

I want to reason with him. "You are such an idiot, they would have forgiven you."

"No, they would have never forgotten what happened."

I look around us. "Maybe not, but that's not what matters. What happened to the side of you that cleaned me up while I was sick? That held water up for those of us who couldn't pick up the cups for ourselves?"

"You do what you have to do to survive." He explains.

I can feel the hope draining out of me, and all I can do is keep an eye on the gun in his hand.

-/-

The radio crackles again. " _Murphy, I know you can hear me. All our ammo and food is on the middle-level. You know that. You're leaving us vulnerable to an attack, I can't let that happen_."

"Yeah well, if you haven't noticed you're not exactly in control right now." He answers.

" _Come on Murphy, you don't want to hurt Toby, you want to hurt me_."

I shake my head. "He's trying to bait you."

"Shut up." He holds the radio up.

" _So what do you say? How about you trade her for me?_ "

I start pulling on the ropes tying my wrists and ankles. "No. Bellamy no."

" _Look, all you have to do is let her go and I'll take her place_."

Murphy watches me struggle, I can tell from his eyes that he's contemplating the deal. I shake my head hoping that Bellamy has a plan.

"How?" He asks Bellamy.

" _Simple. You open the door, I walk in, she walks out."_

He doesn't do anything but think about it. He stares at me and he walks over to the lever and opens the door. He puts the gun to my head and cuts the ropes around my ankles.

"Just you Bellamy! Unarmed." He yells outside. "Ten seconds or I'll put on in Toby's leg!"

"Oh joy." I comment sarcastically.

"One, two, three, four, five."

I can hear Bellamy step onto the ramp. "I'm here."

He pushes the tarp aside and walks in with his hands up. Murphy shoves me out of the door and I trip and roll out onto the ground. Octavia and Jasper catch me and quickly untie the ropes from my wrists.

"Are you okay?" She asks me.

I sit up and watch the door close. "He's going to kill him."

-/-

I stand with Octavia outside the main door as Jasper and Raven get in through the loose panels at the back. It turns out that Bellamy really did have a plan. Suddenly we hear a shot ring out inside the dropship. Octavia starts to panic. I hand her the walkie-talkie.

"Bellamy?" She calls into the device. "Bellamy are you okay?" She asks again after there's no response. "Bellamy do you copy?"

Our radio crackles. " _I'm fine. Just a misfire. Now stop worrying about me and get back to work, all of you. And tell Raven to hurry her ass up."_

I was never a religious person, but if there was a god out there watching this, I was definitely praying. Bellamy and I seemed to have sort of an understanding before this. I feel close to him and I appreciate that I didn't know anything about them before they found me because it allowed me to form my own opinions. Bellamy acts so tough, but really just wants to keep everyone safe, even if that makes him seem like an arrogant ass.

"Octavia he's going to be okay. Raven's going to get the door open in time." I try to reassure her, knowing that it was really to reassure myself.

Another shot sounds and we all jerk our heads up. "No." I whisper. He can't be dead. We need him... I need 's so much we still need to talk about. Things I need to tell him and things he need to teach me. He cannot be dead.

I grab the radio from Octavia. "Bellamy? Bellamy please." There's no response. "Murphy I swear to every god that if he's dead I'm going to kill you six different ways."

Several more shots ring out and I drop the radio back into Octavia's hands. I thought that people were worth second chances. I thought that I would be able to make them trust Murphy again, when really I should have listened to Clarke and Bellamy when they told me he couldn't be trusted.

Suddenly we hear a rush of air as the dropship door starts to open. All the guards point their guns towards the door and Octavia stays put, but I walk briskly in to find Bellamy pulling at a noose around his neck. I wrap my hands around the backs of his knees and lift upwards, hearing the others come in. Jasper cuts him down and Octavia helps me to catch him and get him on the ground. With the release of the noose he gasps for air. Taking big gulping breaths the colour starts to return to his face.

"Bell breathe." Octavia tells him gently.

I run my fingers through his hair. "You're okay now, just breathe."

Bellamy lurches into a standing position. "Murphy! Murphy it's over! Give it up." He starts to climb the ladder up to the higher levels of the dropship. "There's only one way out of this for you now!"

A loud bang comes from above our heads and I follow Bellamy up the ladder into the higher level. Everything is black with soot and there's smoke billowing throughout the room. "Murphy!" Bellamy yells. There's a hole blown through the side of the ship and no John Murphy. "Still think we shouldn't have killed him?" Bellamy asks me angrily.

"You were right." I respond, staring out into the forest. We watch him run down the pathway into the trees. "Should we go after him?"

"No. The grounders will take care of Murphy." He turns to Jasper behind us. "We're going after Clarke, Finn and Monty."

I start climbing back down the ladder. "You two might not. But I did make a promise. After a gunshot, I have to think up five more ways."

Bellamy grabs my forearm. "No. You're staying here to help Raven."

Someone's radio spikes. " _All gunner's we've got movement on the south wall."_

We look at each other for a moment and race out of the dropship. Guards open the gate as Clarke and Finn come running in.

"We heard the explosion what happened?" Clarke asks us, worry clouding her eyes.

Mine narrow. "Murphy happened."

Jasper runs up and hugs Clarke. "Thank god. Where have you been? Where's Monty?"

"Monty's gone?" Clarke looks confused.

Finn interrupts the reunion. "We need to leave, now! All of us do. There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run." He finishes.

"Like hell we do. We knew this day was coming." Bellamy argues.

"Bell. we're not prepared." Octavia reasons.

Bellamy shakes his head. "And they're not here yet. We still have time to get ready. Besides, where would we go? Where would we be safer than behind these walls?"

"There's an ocean to the east. People there will help us." Finn explains.

Octavia points to a book in Finns hands. "You saw Lincoln."

"You expect us to trust a grounder?" Bellamy asks, then he pauses. "This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands. Our dead are buried behind that wall in this ground, our ground!" He starts walking around the circle of teenagers. "The grounders think they can take that away? They think that because we came from the sky we don't belong here-"

I zone out of his speech and put my hand on Clarkes arm. "Not all of us are from the sky." I whisper to her. "Not all of you are from the sky. Technically I'm a grounder. What if I talked to their leader?"

She gives me a blank look before realization of what I'm saying dawns on her face. She pulls me away from the crowd. "Toby no. They'll think you're one of us."

"But I'm not." I pull my arm from her grasp. "I'm not one of you. I didn't fall from the sky, I didn't have any part in this."

She shakes her head. "It won't work Toby, so please don't go doing anything stupid."

She leaves me standing there and joins the rest of the camp back around Bellamy. I turn around and start walking to the far side of the wall. I check over my shoulder over and over again to see if anyone's following me.

Just as I reach a good hand-hold on the wall I hear Bellamy calling to me from behind. "Get your things Toby, come on. Get down."

I turn and stare at his boots. "Bellamy. I'm really sorry."

"For what?" He asks, stepping forward.

I crack the knuckles on my hand and look in his eyes. "Murphy got you because I couldn't fight back."

"That wasn't your fault. He had it out for me from the beginning. But maybe it'll teach you how to be a bit more careful in deciding who gets your trust. Yes?"

I nod. "Yeah."

He slings an arm around my shoulder. "Now, let's get our stuff and follow princess Clarke."

"Where did that nickname even come from?" I laugh,

"It's a long story."


	6. We Are Grounders Part 2

**We Are Grounders Part 2**

 **Toby POV**

The line of teenagers tromping through the forest is definitely not quiet, and I'm worried we're attracting more grounders than we're leaving behind. Everyone is chatting and discussing whatever they want to do when we make it to the ocean. I am less excited than they are. I was always afraid of deep water, the bottom so far away from you that all you can see is the reflection of light amongst the waves. I was not looking forwards to spending the rest of my life suspended above it.

Octavia must have noticed something because she holds out her hand and motions for the procession to stop. Murmurs ripple down the line, everyone curious to see what she saw. I hear a whistle from the trees and suddenly one of the guards is falling to the floor with a weapon lodged in his head.

"Grounders!" Jasper screams as everyone backs away from the body.

Everyone panics and turns around beginning to run back to camp. I follow the stream and we quickly make our way back through the gates and into the walls. It seems like everyone is screaming and I put my arm around Raven, helping her back into the dropship.

"That was chaos." I try to lighten the situation

She groans. "I agree, let's never do that again."

I turn to listen to the yelling outside. "Looks like Bellamy is getting his fight after all."

-/-

"I'm sorry, you want to what?" I ask Clark incredulously.

She turns to me. "I want to blast off."

"Draw them in close, fire the rockets. Ring of fire." Raven smiles.

"Barbequed grounders." Bellamy chimes in. "I like it."

"Will it work?" Finn asks Raven.

She contemplates it for a moment. "The wiring is a mess down there, but yeah, you give me enough time and I'll cook them real good."

Clarke nods to her, affirming that she will to all she can to give Raven the time she needs to make this work.

"This is crazy." I think aloud. Bellamy watches me walk away from the planning board. "This is crazy. There are so many things that could go wrong."

I walk out of the dropship and he follows me while Finn and Clarke help Raven get started. "Nothing bad is going to happen. Raven's a genius mechanic, she can do this."

"Genius mechanics in my time blew people up in rockets all the time." I shake my head and pace around him.

"This isn't like your time. We've gotten a bit more advanced." He tries to reassure me.

I stop. "Really?" I hiss out angrily. "Because starting wars is more advanced, because killing the people who's land we're on is more advanced? From where I'm standing we are no better than when the colonizers killed the Native Americans."

"We are not like that." Bellamy grabs my upper arm and turns me to face him. "They attacked first."

I scoff. "Sure, because unknown people landed in their borders."

"They are going to kill us, all of us."

I push him away from me. "Maybe they should."

He stands there shocked as I walk away from him. I have to try so hard not to turn around and see the disappointed and angry look in his eyes. No good would come from it. Tears pool in the corners of my eyes and I push my palms into my sockets to try and stop them from flowing down my cheeks. I spin Bria's ring on my finger and smile.

Ever since I could understand what happened to me there's been a weight pressing down on my chest. I struggle to breathe and I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of panicking. I should be dead, what chance will I have if Ravens plan fails.

-/-

Everyone around the fire is solemn, there's no chatter, just the shuffling of feet and sandbags as people place them around the dropship. There's a sound like a landslide far off in the distance and at first I don't pay attention, thinking no one else noticed or cares.

"Did you hear that?" A girl calls out.

Everyone stops and looks around at each other, no one talks and we all know that the battle with the grounders must have started. I have hope for Octavia and all the others in the foxholes outside of the wall. Bellamy shoulders his gun and quickly leaves to get in position.

I throw another bag onto the pile as gunshots ring around the forest. "Get back to work guys. There isn't anything we can do from in here except stacking the bags. Let's go." They all nod and murmur an agreement, picking up the bags and stacking them on top of each other. A landmine goes off outside of camp and I flinch, that means they're getting closer. "If any of you are religious, I think you should start praying."

At this point I've given up trying to keep working, those of us without guns just stand around, jumping at each gunshot, hoping that it wasn't our friends last bullet. Then we start to hear the war screams of the grounders getting closer and closer.

"There's too many! Everyone in the dropship, now!" One of the guards on the wall yells.

Clarke walks down the ramp. "No, we need more time. Gunner's stay at your posts. The rest of you inside. Come on quick!" She shouts out orders as I help her herd all the other teenagers into our last option. I follow behind the last one and crouch beside Raven, making sure no one steps on her. There's an explosion and some of the kids race out to see what's happening.

"The arc is falling onto Earth!" I hear someone yell.

Whoops and yells sound from outside, they don't sound like the war cries from the grounders.

"Reapers." A girl whispers nexts to me and closes her eyes. I grab her hand, holding it tightly.

Clarke and Finn walk onto the dropship, quickly making their way over to Raven and I. Clarke grabs a bag from Finn and preps a needle which she slowly injects into Ravens hip.

"Clarke, they're taking down the gate!" A guard runs into the dropship and exclaims.

Jasper crawls up the ladder and out of the floor. "Good, cause we're good." He swallows nervously. "I think."

I ruffle his hair as a hopefully calming gesture. "Great because from the sounds of it out there, we would have had to be good."

"I'm closing that door." The guard says anxiously.

Clarke jumps up and walks over to him "Wait. We've still got people out there. Bellamy's not back yet."

I look around the dropship even though I know that Clarke is right. I swear internally at Bellamy, hoping that he is going to make it here in time. Clarke runs outside to tell everyone to get in, amidst the fighting and screaming of the battle raging outside I'm not entirely sure that anyone is going to hear her.

People left outside start streaming in and fitting themselves into the available spaces. Clarke comes back in and looks at me sadly before pulling the lever for the door. I stand up and walk over to her quickly.

"No you can't Bellamy's not back yet. You- we have to wait for him he going to die out there." I start protesting but all she does is pull me into her for a hug. She rubs circles into my back and I feel her tears on my shoulder.

It's then that I realize that Finn isn't in here either, which means that she doomed him to die too. She made a hard choice. "For the good of the many." I whisper into her ear and she nods.

We separate and I return to my seat, quietly fighting back the tears that threaten to spill down my cheeks. With a loud scream there's a grounder in the dropship, circling with both of her swords drawn. The guards cock their guns and point them at her, so that in the end she's surrounded. We all start to sway as the rest of the grounder army swarms the ship and begins to climb the outside.

"Jasper, now!" Clarke calls twirling to face him.

He flicks the switch on the controller and nothing happens. There's no lift off and no barbeque.

"Anya, you can't win." Clarke tells the grounder woman.

She screams and swipes on of her swords down towards Clarke's head, charging at her. A guard comes up behind the warrior and hits her in the back of the head with the butt of his rifle. He starts kicking her before Clarke steps in.

"Stop!"

Panic ensues in the dropship and I look over at Jasper fiddling with the wires, eventually he must have figured something out because he stands up and starts dismantling a lantern off the wall. He plugs two wires into the base and we all jerk as the rockets fire underneath us. Burning all the grounders outside. Then it all stops.

-/-

When the door opens I stand behind Clarke as we slowly walk into the sea of burned skeletons. Everything around us is grey, ashy and burnt.

"What did we do?" I murmur.

I watch her walk around camp, staring at the skeletons trying to figure out which ones are Bellamy and Finn. Then she's side stepping a smoke bomb. It's red and billows around us, more follow it and I cough and sputter as the smoke fills my lungs, it makes me feel tired and I fall to my knees. I let my eyes flutter shut and everything around me goes black.


	7. The 48

**The 48**

 **Toby POV**

When I wake up the lights are almost blinding. The walls are white, the ceiling is white, everything is white. Except for the painting on the wall. I flinch at the thought of pulling out the IV in my arm so I grab the stand and walk towards the painting. It's the Mona Lisa, but it can't be real, there's no way that it's real. It's out in the open, I could reach over and touch it if I wanted to. The door to my room opens and two people walk in, I assume one is a doctor, but I can't tell who the other person is.

The doctor walks over to me and smiles. "How are you feeling?" She slips the IV out of my arm and checks my pulse.

"Is that the real Mona Lisa?" I ask them both incredulously.

The man smiles. "It is indeed, we have lots of paintings down here."

"Down here?" I look around. It looks like the hospital rooms from home.

He holds out his hand. "I'm Cage Wallace. Welcome to Mount Weather."

"Toby Masse." I smile back. "Are my friends here?"

"Yes, they are just at orientation now, you can get dressed and join them if you wish." The doctor smiles at me.

A wardrobe is wheeled in to my room and Cage opens it, revealing clothing options from my time. "Thank you." I tell them both and they leave, letting me get dressed.

I run my hands along the delicate fabrics before landing on a pale yellow dress with white lace. Then I pull on a pair of saddle shoes that look like the ones worn in the 60's. I walk to the door and pull on the handle, following the man who wheeled the wardrobe into my room. We walk through the halls and get into an elevator which takes us to the fifth floor.

I walk into a room filled with teenagers from the ground. Most of them seem to be crowding around one particular person.

"Clarke?" I ask tentatively.

She spins around when she hears my voice and watches me walk towards the group. "Toby, you're okay." She smiles.

"I'm better than okay. This place is amazing." I smile wistfully. "It reminds me of home."

Her gaze softens as she processes that information. "Toby this isn't your home. We need to get out of here."

I push past Clarke and rush over to Monty. I throw my arms around his shoulders and smile. "I'm so glad you're safe." I grin at Jasper. "You too."

"Finn and Bellamy aren't here Toby." Clarke joins us and ruins the moment.

I nod. "They probably took off before the fire. They're smart, they'll be okay."

"How are you not questioning any of this?" She asks me incredulously.

"Because I feel at home here. And you're kind of ruining it." I explain sadly. Wishing Clarke would be a little more trusting and start feeling comfortable.

-/-

Cage walks behind me in the lineup to get food. "You mean you have actual real, honest to god chocolate cake?" I ask him happily.

"That and so much more."

I grab a plate and pile it high with sandwiches and fresh fruit. I pick up a slice of cake and walk over to Monty and Jasper. I place my plates on the table and sit down, staring at the food in front if me.

"You have to try this pie." Jasper tells Monty excitedly.

He takes a forkful off of Jaspers plate and sighs in bliss as the taste coats his tongue. I pick up my sandwich and take a bite, savoring the taste of the familiar BLT. I laugh as Monty and Jasper fight over the chocolate cake, and it's nice to see a different side to the two boys.

"Come on. Jasper you can try mine." I tell him, holding out the plate for him to taste it.

They stop goofing off as Clarke comes over to our table. "Oh, hey Clarke." Jasper greets her.

"Sit down and pretend you're happy to see me." She tells us quietly.

I smile. "We are happy to see you." I hold out a berry. "Strawberry?"

"What's a- nevermind." She shakes her head.

Monty holds out his cake for her. "You have to try the chocolate cake."

"Oh it is so good." Jasper grins.

She looks around suspiciously. "I'm not eating their food."

"Clarke." I groan half at her caution and half at the taste of the cake. "Shit it's even better than I thought."

Monty laughs at my reaction. Clarke slides her map across the table to Jasper. "Look, they gave us a map with no exits. I need you to tell me everything you've seen."

She's interrupted as Cage touches my shoulder. "I was wondering if I could steal your friend for an hour or so?" He asks politely.

I wipe my mouth with my napkin and hand my leftover cake to Jasper. "Of course you can. Lead the way." I smile and stand up following the man out of the dining hall.

We walk into the elevator and down into one of the lower levels. A door opens when he swipes his keycard against the reader and we walk into a large warehouse. He stands back and watches me wander into the large room.

"It's filled with artwork." He explains seeing the look of amazement on my face.

I walk to the nearest shelf and pull out a familiar painting. "The Sleeping Gypsy. This one's my favourite."

"Henri Rousseau painted it in 1897." He adds to the history of my favourite piece.

I nod. "She always looked so peaceful to me, even in the presence of the lion."

He pulls out another painting. "The Girl with the Pearl Earring. My personal favourite." He smiles.

"Painted by Johannes Vermeer in 1665." I tell him.

He pulls a keycard out of his pocket and hands it to me. "You aren't like the rest of them. Are you?"

"No, I am not like them." I take the card and look at him curiously.

"It will give you access to the art warehouse and our library. I'd only like one thing in return." He grins. "Tell me how you're different."

"They found me in a cryo-pod in a bunker almost a month ago. Clarke and Bellamy got me out and brought me back to their camp." I shift where I stand, almost anxiously.

He rubs his chin thoughtfully. "So how do you process radiation if you were in a bunker. None of us in the mountain could handle being outside."

"The pod must have had a filter, so over the hundred and thirty years I was asleep I slowly got used to it I suppose." I shrug. "I'm not entirely sure to be honest."

He nods and gestures to the door. "We should go. Have to get ready for the dinner tonight."

"Thank you." I smile as he holds the door open for me. I fiddle with the keycard. "And for this."

"Anytime."

-/-

"For the past and the future we serve." President Wallace starts.

I'm in between Monty and another one of the forty-eight for the before meal prayer. "We give thanks." All the Mount Weather citizens around us chime in.

"Good health, good food and good company. And the blessing of new friends."

"We give thanks." I smile at Monty and Jasper as the three of us mix our voices with those from the mountain.

Everyone drops hands and we all sit down to tuck into the meal before us. "So where did you and Cage go during lunch?" Jasper winks in my direction.

"He took me to the art warehouse." I pull out my keycard. "And he gave me access to it and the library."

Clarke looks over. "Are those the only two places that lets you into?"

"I'm not sure. But those are really the only two places I need."

I smile to myself. This place could maybe finally help me to lift the weight that's settled on my chest. I could finally feel at home here.


	8. Inclement Weather

**Inclement Weather**

 **Monty POV**

"What is she doing?" I whisper to the other teenagers standing alongside me.

"She's dancing, but there's no music." Jasper describes the scene in front of us.

I give him a look. "I can see that. But why?"

We stand in silence for a moment before a hauntingly unfamiliar tune reaches our ears. "Why don't you join me and find out?"

Toby comes to a stand still and reaches out for my hand. I walk down the steps and take her hand gently. Her green eyes crinkle in the corners as he gives me a broad grin. She sweeps her skirt around her legs and curtseys to me. I bow in response and she places my hand on her waist and rests her own hand on my shoulder.

"What are we doing?" I ask her with a soft smile on my face.

She starts leading the dance and we glide across the empty floor. "We, Monty Green, are waltzing." I lift my hand and twirl her around and she giggles softly.

"Even though there's no music?"

She smirks. "There's always music." She taps her temple and we continue to glide. Other kids deciding to try it and join us. Because for once there isn't anything we have to fight against.

-/-

 **Toby POV**

I walk the halls of Mount Weather with memories of my childhood playing in my head.

" _Come on Lynnie. Let's go." Six year old me waves to my younger sister Lynn._

 _She toddles down the hallway, giggling with each step on the creaking floorboards. "Look Tati, look at me go."_

 _I smile as she runs on her little toddler legs towards me. "Hurry up, mum's getting the popsicles from the freezer. They're gonna melt if you keep walking so slow."_

The memory brings a smile to my face as I reminisce about the days I spent with my younger sister. She was only two years younger than I was, and we used to get along so well.

 _I swipe through the pictures on my phone and stop at one of Bria. "See, this is the girl I was telling you about."_

" _Ooooo, Tati's got a crush." She taunts me, rolling her eyes and smiling like a crazed school girl._

 _I smack her gently. "Leave me alone Lynnie. She likes me too."_

" _Well then it's more than just a crush."_

She wasn't wrong, she rarely ever was. Lynn was the smartest person I knew, she could think her way out of every problem that faced her.

"Penny for your thought?"

I spin around at the voice and grin when it's just Cage. "I was just thinking about my sister."

"Do you want to go for a walk and talk about it?" He offers his arm and I loop mine through his.

We start walking again and I stare straight ahead, not trusting my tear ducts. "I miss her so much, I miss them all so much. I don't know how to do this."

"I know it must be hard to articulate." He commiserates.

I nod. "No one really understands. I went to sleep one night and I woke up in a world that wasn't my own. And I feel bad for acting like a bitch sometimes but I just feel lost."

"You have every right to feel lost, your future was taken away from you and you had no say in what happened."

I feel tears building up in the corners of my eyes. "What gave me the right to have a second chance?"

We've reached the common room and we stop in front of the doors." I'm not sure, but what I do know is that you were given a second chance for a reason, so you can't keep dwelling on your past." He points to the teenagers inside the room. "These people are your future now, and nothing will change that."

I nod and smile at him. "Thank you, this was really helpful."

"Anytime." He nods and walks away with a small grin on his face.

I walk into the common room, a faint blush creeping across my cheeks.

-/-

"It looked like an arrow wound."

I hear Clarke finish her sentence as she leans up against the wall next to my bed.

"Maybe because it is an arrow wound." Jasper plays devils advocate.

Clarke shakes her head. "Or that's what they want us to think." She looks around as Jasper shifts uncomfortably across from her. "What? They could've doctored it."

"Clarke you sound crazy. Do you even hear yourself?" I pipe up, flipping to the next page in my book.

"Why do you want to screw this up for us?" Jasper whispers.

"I don't know this is." She widens her eyes.

I put my book down and sit up. "This is safe. Food, a real bed, clothes."

Jasper continues. Putting a hand to his chest. "My personal favourite, not being speared by grounders. How long do you think they'll let us stay here if you keep this up?"

She processes what he said then stands up. "Did someone threaten you?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "No. No it's common sense. We're guests here, not prisoners. What would you do with a guest that kept calling you a liar? Who generally acted like an ungrateful ass?"

"Kick that ungrateful ass out." Miller answers.

"And all those who named the ungrateful ass their leader in the beginning." I give her a pointed stare.

Jasper looks her in the eyes. "Right now, the biggest threat to us, is you."

He walks away leaving Clarke speechless. "I know you don't trust them, and after everything you went through I don't blame you. But you can stop fighting now." I advise her, lying back down. "Can someone wake me up when it's time for dinner?


	9. Reapercussions

**Reapercussions**

 **Toby POV**

I swipe my key card to open up the art warehouse. "Come on Monty, come see." I shove open the door and hold it open for Monty to walk in before me. "What do you think?"

"It's a lot of art." He looks around and flips through the racks of paintings.

I walk next to him as he observes. "There are paintings here I only ever dreamed of seeing."

"Tell me a story." He stops and looks at me curiously.

I smile. "What do you want it to be about."

"Earth before the bombs, before they were even a threat." He leans against the shelf.

I laugh. "Nuclear missiles were around in 2019 Monty, I'm not that old."

He grins and shakes his head. "Not, no you're not."

"Where I lived was calm, we weren't worried about much except for staying warm during the winter. One of my friends walked to school in the biggest blizzard of the year and lost one of his toes to frostbite."

Monty tilts his head. "Frostbite?"

"Yeah, it's when you lose blood flow to an appendage and it causes gangrene."

He grimaces. "That sounds awful."

"Yes but we lived in Canada so it wasn't a big deal." I shrug laughing at his reaction. "I loved my small little hometown, but I had dreams."

He puts an arm around my shoulder. "Come on, let's go find out friends and go get breakfast."

-/-

"Jasper have you seen Clarke?" Monty asks worried.

We've been looking for her for forever and we haven't been able to find her, both Monty and I were worried about our friends whereabouts.

"I, no." Jasper barely answers out of breath.

I shake my head. "Nobody has."

"Hi." Monty greets Maya.

"Hey." She gestures between the three of us. "You guys should-"

"No." Jasper cuts her off. "We're having breakfast." She looks around at us. "I'll meet you in line?"

She nods and waves to Monty and I before turning around the corner and walking away.

"I've got a bad feeling." Monty tries to start.

Jasper steps in. "Look. I'd love to talk to you about Clarke, any time of my entire live other than right now."

He side steps Monty and tries to walk away but I put a hand on his chest to stop him before he leaves. "What is she's in trouble?" I ask him.

"Trouble?" Jasper sighs. "It's Clarke. Whatever she's up to I'm sure she can handle it." He turns to catch up to Maya and I close my eyes.

"I'm not so sure." I say out loud.

I hear Monty sigh. "Yeah, me neither."

-/-

I nudge Monty gently as he picks at the waffles on his plate. "You need to eat."

"I'm just not very hungry." He looks over his shoulder and watches the people around us.

I look up when Jasper leans on a chair in front of us. Monty looks down at his plate seemingly disappointed.

"Nice to see you to." Jasper jokes.

Monty looks back up at his friend. "Sorry, I was hoping you were Clarke."

"You still haven't seen her?" Jasper stands up and shifts anxiously.

I shake my head, looking at the plate of food in front of me. "No, I think something might be wrong."

"I don't think she slept in her bed last night." Monty adds. Jasper sits across from us and looks guilty. "What do we do?" Monty asks us.

"I'll talk to Cage after breakfast, see if he knows anything." I suggest. Jasper opens his mouth like he's about to say something but then closes it. "What?" I ask him curiously.

"I don't trust him." He looks over our shoulders and we turn to follow his gaze. "Maya has access to everything through her job. Maybe she could sneak around so you wouldn't have to ask Cage."

Monty shakes his head. "Clarke doesn't trust them. What if she's right?"

I stand up and place my napkin on the table. "Tell me when you come up with something." I gesture to Monty's untouched plate. "And eat."

-/-

I hope that Bellamy's alive, I hope that Jasper didn't fry him when he fired the rockets back at the dropship. Even though I can't get out there and look for myself I know that Mount Weather has patrols out there looking for more of the Ark survivors.

Since arriving in this mountain I've explored nearly every inch of the place, there's not a nook or cranny I haven't spotted, no book in the library left covered in dust. I am starting to miss the fresh air and lush green of the forests and brush. Even back before I was frozen I hated being inside. The walls always felt to small, like they were closing in around me.

"Exploring again?"

I jump at the voice behind me and spin around to face whoever is there. I look up into the face of Cage's father. President Dante Wallace.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking about the outside." I feel a small blush of embarrassment creep across my cheeks.

He waves a hand. "No need to be sorry. I also spend the majority of my time dreaming of the outside world."

"I wish I could go out again." I gently introduce the subject.

Dante steps forwards. "Now it's my turn to apologize. It's so dangerous out there, I don't want you or any of your friends getting hurt."

"I understand." I nod, seeing where he's coming from. Even if don't agree with the statement.

The delinquent teenagers survived for nearly a month before they found me, and they survived weeks afterwards. Danger doesn't phase any of them. But I think the president knows that.

"My son has taken an interest in you." Dante tells me.

I start to stutter. "I-I'm not s-sure why?"

"Relax." He puts a hand on my shoulder. "It's not a bad thing. Personally I'm glad he's found someone he's interested in." I nod, not knowing what to say. "Have a good day miss Tatianna."

I watch him round the corner and I run a hand through my hair. I feel guilty, but I have no clue why. I'm worried that Cage is taking my reactions the wrong way. Maybe I feel guilty because I'm probably leading him on. Or maybe I'm feeling guilty because there's someone else out there I would rather be interested in me than Cage.

-/-

I sit quietly with Monty and Jasper in front of a chess board. Earlier while I was talking to president Wallace they asked her to find out information about where Clarke could possibly be.

"Find out something?" Monty asks her quickly, right as she sits down.

"What is it?" Jasper asks her more gently, seeing the look on the girls face.

She twists her hands in her lap avoiding eye-contact. "Apparently Clarke had some kind of breakdown. She just snapped. Started pulling out her stitches, trying to hurt herself."

"Where is she now?" Monty asks worriedly.

Maya looks at him. "Psych ward. Being monitored. I talked to a friend who works there, she thinks it might be a couple days before the doctors let anyone see her."

Monty Jasper and I all look at each other. "I'll see about that." Monty stands up and walks away.

"That doesn't sound like something Clarke would do." I reason with Jasper.

Then seeing the looks he's giving Maya, I stand up and thank her. Walking away to follow Monty on his quest to find our friend and leader.


	10. Many Happy Returns

**Many Happy Returns**

 **Toby POV**

"Cage please, I need to see her." I plead with the future leader of Mount Weather.

After Monty had gotten up and walked off I hadn't followed him fast enough to catch up, meaning I was left to find a solution to the problem myself. That's what lead me to Cage, I thought I could trust him to help me out.

He shakes his head turning his back to me. "That's not possible, not for a few more days Tatianna."

"I need to see her, she hurt herself on purpose, she needs a friend right now." I let some emotion seep into my voice, hoping he can hear my desperation.

He turns to me, the beginnings of frustration edging into his face. "I said no. That's the final answer."

"Can you not empathize? Please Cage, can't you ask them to make an exception?" I continue to try and persuade him, even though I start to realize that I'm fighting a losing battle.

He rubs his face in his hand and sighs. "I gave you the only answer you're going to get Tatianna, now please. Just drop it."

I curl my fingers into my palms and bury myself in the sharp pricks caused by my nails digging into the delicate skin. "Fine, this conversation might be over, but there is no way I, nor any of my friends are going to drop it."

I spin on my heel and stalk off in the opposite direction. I want to turn around and let Cage see the tears that begin to form in the corners of my eyes, but that would be an admission that he got to me. That what he said hurt me, and I cannot afford for anyone else to think I'm weak. I was useless before, out in the woods, so the space kids thought I was pointless. I refuse to be a burden in this mountain too.

I continue walking and graze my fingers along the concrete walls of the mountain. I feel trapped in here, like the walls are going to cave in around me. I want to be free in the trees, to drink non-recycled water and to swim again.

Smiling I wonder if Bellamy would let me teach him how to swim, if he's still alive. I never really let myself hope before, I was always a realist. But the dream of teaching Bellamy how to paddle around in a clear peaceful lake pushes all thoughts of him being dead out of my mind. Maybe if I ever see him again I'll tell him how much he means to me. How much I appreciate him watching over me, and protecting me after him and Clarke found me. How much I appreciate how he cared.

I push my back into the cool wall and slide to the ground. I place my forehead on my knees and let the tears slip down my cheeks. Clarke. She hurt herself and landed herself in a psych ward. It doesn't sound anything like the Clarke I know. She was, no is, the strongest person I know. They have to be lying, there's something not right about the story they're spinning. She was suspicious and worried, there's no way she would leave any of us behind if she thought we would be in danger.

-/-

 **Bellamy POV**

"She's strong, but we need to hurry, they won't be alive for very much longer if they're alive at all." Finn matches his step to mine as we walk through the trees.

I watch the path ahead of us, not looking at him. "Clarke is strong."

"And Toby?" He asks gently.

I adjust the gun in my hands. I don't know how to respond. Toby is almost as strong as Clarke, just in different ways. "She's brave."

I see Finn nod out of the corner of my eye. "She is, but do you think she's brave enough?"

A lump lodges in my throat as I swallow, Finn's questions making me more and more concerned about her. Is she brave and strong enough to survive being taken prisoner? Possibly tortured, or worse? I shake my head and look around us at the trees.

"I don't know." I tell Finn honestly.

He stops and steps in front of me. "We will find them." He says steadily. Determination crosses his face.

I nod and step around him, continuing on into the forest. "She's strong Bellamy." I hear Murphy mutter ahead of me. "There's no way in hell she'd let anything happen to herself or the others."

"And what would you know about it?" I ask Murphy curiously, trying to sound frustrated.

He shrugs and turns around, walking backwards. "She wanted to go after me right? After I jumped ship." I stare at him, not giving him an answer. "You may not think she's strong enough to survive the grounders, but that girl has bigger balls than everyone gives her credit for."

I hear Finn snigger behind me, trying not to let Murphy know that I'm starting to agree with what he's saying. He would be insufferable if he found out I thought he was right about something.

"You may be right. When we find her she's probably going to murder you." I smirk at Murphy.

Finn joins in. "I believe six different ways."

Murphy turns around and walks away from us. I grin to myself, feeling better knowing that Toby is strong enough to survive this. She has to be.


	11. Human Trials

**Human Trials**

 **Bellamy POV**

The Factory Station girl leans on my shoulder as we trek back into camp. Immediately a guard grabs the pistol out of my hand to disarm me. I'm not surprised, but starting to get frustrated. Dr. Griffin strides over to us and brushes the girls cheek.

"I know you. Factory Station." She nods quickly. Then Dr. Griffin turns her attention to me. "Where are the others?"

"There are no others." Mel tells the doctor sadly.

"Found her a day from here. No survivors, lot's of supplies." I inform the current Chancellor.

She looks to the rest of my group and nods. "Get her to medical."

I turn to Octavia as the injured girls walk away with Dr. Griffin. She's about to say something when a blur runs over and throws a pair arms around my neck. I'm shocked for a second before I realize that it's Clarke. I wrap my arms around her waist and hug her close to me.

"Now there's something I thought I'd never see." Octavia comments from beside us.

There are so many thoughts running through my head. I'm mostly glad that she's safe and alive. Not imprisoned by any grounders. Clarke pulls away and hugs Octavia tightly.

"How many with you?" I ask her excitedly at the prospect that my people and Toby are safe.

Clarke shakes her head. "None."

"Where's Toby?" I ask her angrily.

She asks me at the same time. "Where's Finn?"

I grit my teeth and stare at her. "Looking for you." She watches me closely, anxiety crossing her face. "Where's Toby Clarke?"

She looks at her boots and scuffs them in the mud. "She's not dead." I breathe a sigh of relief. "But I don't know how long that's going to be true." She finishes.

I lift my head sharply at her last words. Alarm clouding my eyes. "Explain."

-/-

 **Toby POV**

I press my forehead into the cool metal of the bunkbeds listening to Jasper and Monty argue. Jasper went and talked to president Wallace about Clarke. Turns out she's not actually here. Wallace offered Jasper a chance at going out and convincing Clarke to return to the mountain.

"And you believe him?" Monty asks Jasper incredulously

Jasper throws Clarkes pastels back into their case and looks around us. "Clarke left us Monty. She faked being crazy to get into medical and she took off."

"We need to go after her." Monty steps to his side, trying desperately to keep eye contact.

I look up as Maya walks slowly over to our corner, her hands clasped in front of her anxiously. I look back to Monty and Jasper, Monty sighs and turns away from Jasper, letting the argument drop only just this once. He picks something up from his bedside table.

"Where are you going?" Jasper acts frustratedly.

Monty puts the bag on the top bunk and starts to pack. "The dropship for starters."

I put my hand on his shoulder and he stops and nods at me. I help him fold his clothes and place them in his bag.

"I just heard." Maya walks over to Jasper and I listen to what she says. "You're leaving?" She asks Monty strangely.

"Yes, we are." He decides, motioning for me to start packing a bag.

Jasper holds out a hand. "No, we're not."

"What would Clarke do?" Monty asks him.

Jasper doesn't answer so I answer for him, shoving clothes into my own bag. "Clarke would go find us."

"No, you can't. It's too dangerous." Maya tells Jasper worriedly.

He shakes his head. "Don't worry, I'm a coward."

They start to talk in whispers and I can't hear what Maya says to Jasper anymore. I look over and Monty and sling my bag over my shoulder. I don't really want to leave, this place was more like home than anything out there, but I know what Clarke would do if the roles were reversed. I look over at Maya and Jasper once more to see burns start to spread across the girls face.

"Radiation." She says sadly. An alarm starts to blare deeper in the bunk room and I walk over to her side. "There's a containment breach."

Blisters start to form on her face and she rushes to the door. "How?" Jasper almost yells.

"I don't know." Maya starts to cry as she passes her keycard over the scanner, every time it comes back with a flashing red light.

"What do we do?" Monty yells to Jasper.

I rush over to Maya as the burns and blisters continually get worse. Jasper and Monty start to bang on the doors.

"You're okay, they'll come and get the doors open." I help her sit down and try to calm her down. Maya's face starts to crack, blood running down her face. She sobs, grabbing my hands tightly in her own. "I know it hurts, just think if the sky." She looks up at me, tears streaming down her face. Pained sobs racking her body. "It's so blue, and the clouds, oh Maya the clouds." I give her the smallest smile as her head starts to bob, and her eyes start to close.

-/-

"Temperature's 104 and rising. Blood pressure, 180 over 120. Blister coverage now 75%."

Monty, Jasper and I stand and listen to Dr, Tsing read off Maya's stats as we all stare at the radiated girl lying in the bed.

"Standard treatment isn't working." We hear the doctor say.

Jasper startles. "What does that mean? Is there a non-standard treatment?" Emotion makes his voice crack.

"There is one thing we could try." The doctor says ominously.

"What are you waiting for?" Jasper asks angrily.

The doctor turns to us three. "It's unorthodox." We look at each other anxiously. "Because you were raised in space, your circulatory systems developed the ability to filter radiation out of your blood. And your cryo pod filtered in manageable amounts of radiation so your body developed coping mechanisms. Now, it's just a theory, but if we were to circulate Maya's blood through your system-"

'It'd make her better." Jasper says barely audible. Dr. Tsing nods.

"What happens to him?" Monty asks quickly.

"We're not sure." She tells us honestly.

I look over at Jasper, he's watching Maya with a deep level of caring flickering across his face.

"I know that look." Monty interjects. He must have been watching Jasper too. "Don't even think about it. It's too dangerous."

Jasper can't meet Monty's gaze. "I'm in."

"Jasper, they don't know if you'll be okay." I remind him gently. "They don't even know if it will make Maya better."

He ignores me and follows the doctor to get ready for the procedure. I walk over to Monty and lean against his shoulder. He puts an arm around my waist and we stand there, watching Maya's heart monitor beep slowly.

-/-

I watch through the window as Jasper get's Maya's blood circulated through his body. I flinch at the sight of the needles and turn around, pressing my shoulders into the wall next to the door. I press my hands to my face cringing at the thought.

Cage walks down the hallway and heads towards me. He looks through the window and watches the process. "A shame really, Maya's one of our best."

"She's not dead." I tell him forcefully. "In fact one of my friends is in there saving her life."

Cage turns to me and places a straight arm on my left side. As if he's trying to block me from moving. "I'm sorry I had to lie to you about Clarke."

"The truth always comes out." I shrug, trying to shove the claustrophobic feelings back down.

He puts his other hand on my right shoulder, locking me in place with my back to the wall. He leans in so I can feel his breath against my ear. "It does seem that way, doesn't it."

I tilt my head, and squirm, trying to move free. "Cage, what are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago." He catches my gaze and moves his eyes to my lips.

Fear and anxiety fills my body, rooting me where I stand. I squeeze my eyes shut as he presses his lips against mine roughly. I push my hands against his chest and push him off of me.

"What the hell!" I ask him angrily, my volume rising.

He shrugs, smirking. "You've been asking for it." He says nonchalantly.

"Never talk to me again, never look at me again. I never want you to even come near me again." I spit at his feet and walk into Maya's room. Fighting the tears threatening to spill.

Monty notices me step in and stands up, watching the tears fall down my cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something but I just shake my head. He pulls me into a hug, holding me tightly as I bury my face in his shoulder.

"I'll kill him." He says quietly.

I'm not surprised he guessed what happened. "How did you know?"

"He's not a good guy Toby, Jasper and I just wanted you to deal with him in your own way." He tells me gently.

I nod and we sit down, watching Jasper and Maya sleep. Eventually falling asleep ourselves.


	12. Fog of War

**Fog of War**

 **Toby POV**

"Monty when do you think they're going to realize that I can't metabolize radiation like all of you can? That I'm not useful to them?" I ask him, anxiously pacing in front of him.

He holds a hand out to catch my wrist. "You have coping mechanisms that your body put in place, radiation won't harm you." He tries to soothe my worries.

"You know that's not what I'm worried about." I tell him, not making eye contact. "You've seen how fast Maya recovered. How long until they start asking the rest of us to do what Jasper did? And finding out that I can't help?"

He stands up and crosses his arms. "They won't throw you out. Besides, we don't even know what the doctor meant, you could be able to do the exact same thing we could."

I sit on a chair and drop my head into my hands. "I miss Clarke."

"Me too." He nods.

"I miss Bellamy too." I add meekly.

He brushes a hand on my arm. "T, we don't even know if he's alive."

"I know Monty, I know." I look up and smile softly. "Doesn't mean we can't miss him though."

He nods and sits down across from me. "You've got me there."

"What will it be like? If the stations survived re-entry to the Earth?" I ask him.

He looks surprised. "What do you mean?"

"You were all prisoners before they sent you down here. Do you really think it'll be different now?"

He shifts and thinks about the question I asked. "It's going to have to be. This is Earth, and like it or not, they need us."

"What were you even arrested for?" I'm curious, seemingly the only one who doesn't know.

He coughs and smiles. "Jasper and I stole herbs from Farm Station."

"Herbs?" I laugh. "Like pot?"

"Yeah, exactly." He laughs with me and he continues to tell me more about the Ark on our walk back to the bunk room.

-/-

"Guys, think about everything they've done for us. They gave us shelter, clean clothes. Kept us safe from the grounders!" Jasper is trying to persuade his people to be filters for the Mount Weather citizens.

Everyone around him scoffs at what he asks and Monty, Harper and I try to avoid eye contact with him. "Miller? They saved your life right?"

"Dude, you puked for three days." He says clearly showing his opinion.

"That was different. Okay, normal treatments wouldn't be as bad." Jasper continues to try his best.

"So they say." Monty adds to the growing list of reasons why not to volunteer.

"So what then? Only puking for one day?" Miller scoffs. "Yeah, I'm out."

Harper looks up at Jasper. "Sorry Jasper, I'm out too."

She stands up and gives Monty and I small smiles before walking deeper into the bunk room. "Come on guys." Jasper says to the retreating forms of the teenagers. "They gave us cake! We've got a sign up sheet if you-"

"What're you doing?" Monty interrupts him.

"What?" Jasper asks frustratedly.

"When did you start working for them?" Monty waits for a response but doesn't get one. "You know what? Nevermind, now that you're better we're going after Clarke."

I stand up and join the boys in the middle of the room. "Monty and I are packed."

Maya strolls into the room with a happy smile on her face. "Of course, right on time." Monty says angrily.

"Hey guys." She starts, a big smile painted on her face. "Jasper, I'm so glad to see that you're feeling better."

She holds up a notebook so the three of us can see it. " _Act normal. They're listening."_

I look up at her sharply. "It seems like he got better so quickly." I add.

" _The breach wasn't an accident. Follow me."_

Jasper shuffles anxiously. "You look, um, rested."

"Hey, it's pizza day." She laughs fakely. "Who's hungry?"

She turns and Monty, Jasper and I follow her out of the room quickly, exchanging looks of anxiety and suspicion. We move quickly through the halls of Mount Weather until she ushers us inside a fabric warehouse.

"We don't have much time, but we can talk freely here." She says with tears in her eyes.

Jasper steps forwards. "What the hell is going on?" We watch as she lowers her head, silent sobs racking her body. "Maya." He says more gently.

"I'm sorry." She starts.

"About what?" I ask her, stepping closer to her.

Jasper shifts anxiously. "What do you mean it wasn't an accident?"

"She means they exposed her to radiation on purpose." Monty explains angrily from behind us. "I'm betting it was to get you to agree to be her blood brother."

We watch Maya as she nods sadly. "I knew it. Clarke was right." Monty says.

"Monty be quiet." Jasper shushes his best friend.

I don't even know what to say. "Clarke was right." I look up at the ceiling to the warehouse. "We all called her crazy and she was right."

"Did you know about this?" Jasper asks Maya accusingly.

She shakes her head and sniffs. "No."

"Why would they do that to you." He asks, not understanding.

She grits her teeth. "Because the standard treatment sucks compared to you."

"That's what Dante said." Jasper says, all the pieces fitting together.

I inhale sharply. "Grounders."

Monty and Jasper turn to me quickly. "Through there." Maya nods and starts walking. The three of us following just at her heels.

She leads us to a grate in the wall, and we try to peer through the slots. Jasper shifts a tile slightly and a whimper escapes my lips. Thousands upon thousands of cages fill a giant room. Each cage has a grounder trapped inside, withering away.

"Oh my god." Monty says in disbelief. I back away from the grate. "Wait a second, why are you showing us this?" Monty asks Maya.

"Because I'm afraid." She admits.

Jasper turns to her. "Of what?"

"That you're next." She lets out a small sob.

Jasper points at the grate and watches Maya angrily. "Who else knows about this?"

"Everyone. But nobody talks about it. We learn not to ask questions." She says quietly, admitting the fault of her people. "Look, without the treatments we'd die. What're we supposed to do?"

She asks it like she doesn't think there's any other option.

"Die." Monty tells her honestly. He closes the tile and turns to us. "We have to get out of here. Dante said we could leave right?"

"He was lying." Jasper admits.

I shake my head. "Then we go without him knowing. There has to be another way out."

"If Clarke got out, we can too." Monty adds.

Maya ruins our idea. "You'll never make it. Ever since Clarke disappeared security all around the mountain's been increased."

"We have to try." Monty pushes.

I start to walk towards the door. "I'm going to talk to Dante."

"We're not leaving the other behind. It means they end up in there." Jasper says quietly.

I tilt my head to agree with him. "I'll find Clarke, she'll know what to do."

-/-

I gently push open the glass doors to the president's office and slowly walk in. "Hello?" I ask the quiet room.

"Miss. Masse, how can I help you?" Dante walks around a corner and smiles at me kindly.

I fold my hands in front of me and look at the floor. "I need to leave to find Clarke."

"I see. Jasper told you about my offer?" He sits down at his desk.

I look up to face him. "Yes sir. He did, but he wants to stay here to help gather people for the treatments."

"You understand that you will be welcome to come back?" He prods.

I nod and try to smile. "Yes sir, that's very generous of you."

He waves his hand. "Mount Weather is your home now." He watches me closely. "Go and pack what you need. Our sensors detected acid fog outside. You may go once it has cleared."

I give the president a real smile. "Thank you so much. This means a lot."

I walk out of the office and enter the elevator, heading for the residential level. I walk the hallways, quietly worrying about my friends and how they will be once I leave. I make it to the dorm room and carefully fold what is necessary into a messenger bag. I change into a pair of sturdy pants, hiking boots and a tank top with a warm jacket over top.

After I have everything I need I walk out of the dorm room to find president wallace and a guard next to him.

"Everything ready to go?" He asks me.

I nod hesitantly. "Thank you for this."I follow them through a different passageway that's leading us upwards. "Will you tell Monty and Jasper where I went?"

"Of course, it will all be taken care of." He assures me.

On our way up another guard bumps into me. "Sorry." He tips his hat at me and I nod.

We must have reached our destination because the guard and president Wallace stops. "This is an airlock, it will bring you outside and keep the rest of us safe."

I walk through the open airlock door and flinch as it whistles shut behind me. I can't see the president anymore through the heavy steel of the door. There's a loud whoosh of air around me and I find myself wincing against the harsh light. I breathe deeply and laugh at the fresh smell of wet Earth. I step outside and hear the click of a gun being cocked.

"Hands on your head."

I try to locate the voice but my eyes haven't gotten used to the light so there's no point in looking. Slowly I move my hands to the top of my head and walk forwards. I feel the barrel of a gun push into my back as cuffs click around my wrists.

"Start walking."

The gun carrier pushes me forward and I start to stumble into the trees. I think I just met the citizens of the Ark.


	13. Long into an Abyss

**Long into an Abyss**

 **Toby POV**

It's a good thing my eyes have adjusted or I wouldn't believe what I was seeing. A massive wreckage, one of the stations that formed the Ark. I'm pushed down the hill and towards the gate of the camp. I haven't been able to learn anything about the guard who found me. I just know that he thinks I'm one of the mountain people.

"Open the gate!" He yells from behind me and I hear the message be relayed into the camp. A metal door is pushed open and he points the gun to the back of my head.

We walk through the camp, I try and catch the eyes of the Ark survivors, searching for Clarke or anyone familiar. We stop at the front, what seems to be some kind of misshapen stage. "I've captured one of the mountain men." He laughs. "Or women."

The crowd laughs and cheers for the guard. He kicks the back of my legs and I fall to my knees. I close my eyes as I feel the cold of the gun barrel pressing into my scalp. "Should I shoot her? For taking our children?"

The crowd cheers and I open my eyes, trying to plead with anyone for help. "Stop!" I hear someone familiar yell and I search the crowd for her face. "She's not from the mountain."

"Clarke." I breathe out. Finally finding her face.

She pushes her way up to us and unsnaps the cuffs around my wrists. She leans down. "Come with me." She whispers in my ear.

I stand up and follow her through the crowd of space people. We walk past crude houses and shelters until we make it to the far side of the camp. Close to the electric wire. Once we're safely out if the eye of the rest of the people she hugs me tightly.

"They told us you tried to kill yourself." I choke out.

She puts her hands on my cheeks and forces me to look at her. "I am not dead."

I startle at the crack of a branch behind us and spin around face to face with Bellamy. My eyes go wide and I start to stutter. He imitates Clarke and pulls me into a tight embrace. I bury my face in his shoulder and fight back tears.

"Thank god." I whisper. "Thank god."

He brushes hair out of my face with his thumb and looks me over. "Did they do anything to you."

I shut down and shake my head. "Later."

-/-

"I don't have a choice. Dante thinks I'm going to show back up with you." I gesture to Clarke, not looking up at either of them.

I watch Bellamy from behind my eyelashes. "Toby, you are not going back to that mountain." He starts getting frustrated. "They're going to use you as a blood bag."

"Maybe they should." I stand up. "I ran. Bellamy." My voice breaks. "I left- I left Monty and Jasper there because I couldn't bear to watch what happens next."

I wrap my arms around my body as if I'm trying to hold myself together. It doesn't seem to be working, and I start to tremble, realizing how cowardly it was of me to leave.

"You did what you thought was for the best." Clarke reasons. "I did the same thing. This way we can help them from out here."

"They expose their own people to radiation to push their agenda." I murmur. "There's no helping them."

Bellamy strides over and grabs my shoulders gently. "We will get them out. Clarke's mom will approve of sending soldiers and we will rescue them."

"But how many will be left to rescue?" I mutter.

He wraps his arms around me and hugs me to him. "We will save as many as we can, but you going back to the mountain will not help."

I nod and almost cry at the feeling of his warm arms around me. All this time and I had given up hope that he was alive. But he is, truely.

-/-

"This is Lincoln?" I ask doubtfully.

Octavia shakes her head. "Mount Weathers done something to him. This is not Lincoln." Her voice cracks at the last sentence.

"He's convulsing." Clarke says, fear and confusion lacing her voice.

"So what does that mean?" Octavia asks worried.

Clarke sighs and doesn't answer her right away. Instead she points out a wound on his leg. "What happened to his leg?"

"I shot him." Octavia looks like she's seen a ghost.

"Clarke he's lost a lot of blood." Bellamy adds.

Clarke tries to get close to Lincoln but he tries to lunge forwards against the restraints. Fortunately he's held back, but this won't last forever.

"Can you shine the light on his neck?" She asks over the grunting. The three of us lift our flashlights and point them towards his neck so Clarke can see. "Needle marks."

"Do you think he's been drugged?" I ask her fearfully.

She stares at the marke on his neck. "Maybe."

She's interrupted by the snapping of the cord holding back is arm. Lincoln pulls Clarke forwards and grabs onto her hair.

"Lincoln!" Octavia runs forward to try and restrain him again. He just knocks her back into the wall.

Bellamy starts punching his arm as Lincoln continues to keep hold of Clarkes neck. This time he throws them both away and pulls the chains off his torso. He growls and lunges towards me but falls into his stomach from the chains wrapped around his ankles.

Bellamy pulls out an electrified baton and starts towards Lincoln, however he manages to pull the grate securing his chains and knocks Bellamy onto his back, continually punching him in the face. Octavia smashes a pipe down across his back, then when he's distracted she hits him across the face, knocking him unconscious.

We all lie back breathing heavily, watching the reaper lay still and unmoving.

-/-

I jump at the feeling of Bellamy's hand being placed gently on my shoulder. "Hey, how're you holding up?" I hear him ask quietly.

"I'm… I'm still standing." I let my hair fall into my eyes. "And that's the important thing."

"What did they do? Toby we can't understand if you don't tell us." He grabs my hand. "I want to understand."

I sigh and look up to the stars. "He did nothing I didn't ask for. Trust me, there's not much else to say."

"What did he do?" Bellamy turns me to face him and slowly puts his hand on my cheek.

I close my eyes tightly to stop the tears threatening to spill. "I could have stopped him. I should have stopped him, but I- but I."

He brushes a tear off my cheek. "I don't know what happened there. But I'm willing to bet anything that none of it was your fault."

"You don't know, you weren't there." I murmur, leaning into his hand.

He leans his forehead against mine and sighs. "I wasn't there to protect you. But I will not let that happen again."


	14. Spacewalker

**Spacewalker**

 **Toby POV**

The forest smells dirty and real, so different to the clean sterilization of Mount Weathers claustrophobic walls. I brush my fingertips gently against the soft moss growing in the tree bark and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

We'd brought Lincoln back to Arcadia, and Clarke's mom was making sure nothing bad happened with the rest of his detox. It's too busy in Arcadia, and everyone looks at me with distrust crowding their faces, it's so much easier in the forest.

I hear a twig snap and turn quickly. Murphy raises his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, don't freak out, it's just me."

"I should kill you." I mutter, feeling the anger begin to course through me.

He shakes his head. "I've been sent to get you."

I laugh darkly. "And you think I'll go with you willingly?" I brush my fingers through my hair. "That's hilarious."

I reach into my pocket and draw out the small knife I've been keeping there since I got out of the mountain. Murphy eyes the knife warily and steps back. "Listen, I can explain-"

"I didn't even know you, and I stood up for you. I told them to give you a second chance. I was wrong. Won't make the same mistake twice."

I lunge forward and swipe the knife's edge across his cheek. He leans forward and pushes against my shoulders, I fall to the ground frustrated. I roll to the side and move into a crouch, he kicks my side and pins my wrist with his knee. I groan at the pain in my wrist as he applies more pressure and eventually I give up and open my fist, dropping the knife onto the leaves.

"That was unnecessary Toby." Murphy grunts, standing up and offering his hand to help me up. "But you tried your best I'm assuming."

"Who sent you?" I mutter, ignoring his jab at my fighting skills. I don't accept his offered hand and stand up on my own.

He brushes the dirt off his pants. "Abby. Clarke's mom."

"Why does she need to see me."

He shrugs and I sigh, gesturing for him to start walking.

-/-

"Mrs. Griffin. You summoned me?" I ask the woman snarkily.

She nods and holds out her hand. "Yes, I would like to apologise for how my people treated you when you first got here. They shot first and asked questions later."

I ignore her hand and look around the current medical center. "Yeah, I'm going to stay away from you people as best I can from now on. I'm not one of you."

"You could be." She offered.

I snort. "I don't want to be. I am just as much a grounder as those warriors circling your camp. I am as far from space as you are from the ground."

She hands me a worn photograph, stained yellow through the years. I recognize the faces in the picture. "You might not be one of us, but your great-great grandniece was one of the first to live on the Ark."

"Lynn had a baby?" I ask, knowing she probably doesn't know who Lynn is.

She steps forward and gently caresses my arm. "She must have. Otherwise most of us wouldn't be here."

My voice catches in my throat and it feels like the walls are closing in. My vision swims and I can see stars. I can vaguely hear Abby calling for me but I can't make out what she's saying. I make my way out of the med bay as quickly as my shaking legs can carry me, but before I can escape the crashed ship, I crash right into Bellamy.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't see you." I attempt to stutter through an apology.

Bellamy gently places his hands on my shoulders to steady me. "Toby what's going on? What's wrong?"

I shake my head. "Nothing, not a thing. Don't worry." I wipe the tears from my cheeks and force a smile to appear on my cheeks. "Just need some fresh air."

"Okay, stay within the boundary. It's not safe with the grounder army all around." He still has a worried look plastered on his face.

I nod and roll my eyes. "Whatever you say."

I turn away from Bellamy and stumble out into the air. Talking to him distracted me from the turbulence of my previous emotions and since he wasn't there any longer they all came flooding back.

Lynn had grown up to have a baby, and eventually a whole string of grandchildren. _Your great-great grandniece was one of the first to live on the Ark._ I had missed the entirety of my families lives. That chance was stolen from me.

My breath catches in my throat and I drop to my knees, hiding behind a sheet of metal. My vision clouds and it feels like the world is swimming beneath me. My heartbeat sounds loud and fast in my ears and I just my eyes tightly, hoping to block out any further sounds or light. I flinch as someone touches my hand, trying to catch my attention. They grip it tightly, then dig their nails in until I open my eyes. Clarke is watching me, concerned and anxious. Her lips are moving but I can't hear any of what she's saying. She places my hand on her chest and I can feel the rise and fall of her breath. I try and calm my breathing, steadying it to match with hers. My heartbeat slows and I can hear what she's saying.

"I told her not to give you the photo. I told her it would be too much for you to handle right now. She thought you should know." She tries to explain.

I nod and hand her the photograph. I point out one old and wrinkled face. "That's Lynn."

"How is there a picture of your sister on the Ark?" She asks, holding the picture like it would fall apart in her hands.

I sigh. "Because it belonged to her great-great granddaughter."

Her gaze softens. "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she was." A tear slips down my cheek as Clarke holds my hand, staring into the eyes of my long dead sister.

-/-

I cannot imagine what I look like to anyone watching me. I clutch the photo of my sister tight in my hand, yet being careful not to damage the well-preserved relic. Tears having dried on my cheeks showing the layer of dust that rests on my body. People give me harsh glares as I walk past, and parents shield their children from me. As if I'm going to harm them in some way. Clarke explained my situation to most of them, but I guess everyone's just having a hard time believing in it.

I make my way over to the spot Bellamy and I were reunited, I remember Octavia telling me about a section of the fence that has been de-electrified. I duck out of the camp and stumble towards the forest. I can vaguely remember the direction of the dropship and I start to walk in that direction.

-/-

I soon realize I'm not walking towards the drop ship, but my feet are unwillingly carrying me towards Mount Weather. The massive metal door looms over me as I stare into the camera eye that's watching me crawl back towards my doom. I know deep in my heart that this has been a terrible mistake.

Before I can turn and run for the safety of the dropship, Bellamy and Clarke; the door hisses open and mountain men come pouring out with their guns held high and pointed at my head. Some naive part of me is surprised as Dante promised me a safe and happy return, but the rational part of my brain wins over as I see Cage storming out in a hazmat suit.

"Take her to my office! Now!" He barks orders to the soldiers and I spin around confused as they all surge forward and start to bundle me through the airlock.

"What's going on? Where's Dante?" I yelp, trying to understand.

Cage turns around with a sick smile on his face; it makes my stomach drop. "He's just fine, I just wanted to be the one to welcome you back." He leans down and caresses my cheek. I can feel his breath on my neck. "I asked him if I could greet you personally. Oh, don't try to yell, or it'll end badly for your friends."

My eyes widen in fear and I'm hauled off by mountain men, staring with wide eyes as Cage just stands and watches.


	15. Remember Me

***Trigger warning***

 **Remember Me**

 **Toby POV**

I knew what Cage meant when he said he wanted to be the one to greet me. But I wasn't quite ready for what it physically entailed. He put his hands all over my body, parts of my body that I had never let anyone else touch. He kissed my face and my hands and disregarded my pleas and screams and yells.

So now I am lying in a miserable heap on his office floor, my eyes have run dry and there are no more tears that can spill. When I awoke from my cryo sleep in the drop ship I had no idea that my semi-perfect life I left behind had turned into a living nightmare.

I barely lift my head as Cage saunters into his office, he's carrying an outfit for me. "Here darling, change out of those outside clothes into something more clean." He tosses me the outfit carelessly and leans against the wall.

I start to change into the new top and pants he's brought for me. "You do not get to call me darling." I hiss.

"I get to call you whatever I want." He opens the office door. "Now go see your friends, and don't tell them what happened." He winks and leaves the office.

I wait five minutes and follow him out of the office, I brush my hand along the concrete wall until I reach the bunkroom with the 100. I slowly push open the door and shuffle into the room, trying to avoid making eye contact with Monty, Miller, Jasper or Maya. I walk past them and drop myself onto my old bunk.

"Hey! That one's taken-" Monty starts to move towards me then abruptly halts. "Toby? What are you doing here!"

I roll over onto my other side so I'm not facing him. "Leave me alone. Please Monty."

All four of them hurry over to me and start to worry. "Why are you back?" Jasper asks quietly.

I wave him off and stare unblinking at the ceiling. "Why haven't you left?" I answer.

"What happened to you?" Miller asks, he tries to hold my hand but I jerk away quickly before he can touch me.

"I saw the Ark. They're all on the ground. Someone tried to shoot me."

Monty shakes his head. "What about Clarke?"

"She's safe. I can't say the same for us."

-/-

 **Bellamy POV**

"Bellamy, she's gone, we can't find her anywhere." Raven tells me quickly on the march to TonDC

I shake my head, trying to deny it. "She's probably just hiding at camp."

"No, she left to find the drop ship and never came back. Clarke thinks she's gone back to the mountain."

I stop in my tracks and glare at Raven. "She isn't stupid Raven, she wouldn't go back there just to end up getting killed."

"Maybe she just wanted to help those she left behind." She suggests.

"She can't do it alone, trapped with the rest of them." I remind her, "They'll just drain her too."

Raven sneers. "Not if we get to them first."

-/-

 **Toby POV**

"Turn it down." I groan, being woken up by the obnoxious music being loudly pumped out of the speaker.

Jasper rushes over to my bed. "You're awake. Are you okay?"

"Why is the music so loud?" I ask again, trying to get up out of bed.

Jasper gently eases me back onto the bed. "You can't get up, you're not okay."

"Where's Monty?" I look around the bunkroom and find him missing.

Jasper looks worried. "We don't know, that's why the music is so loud. We need to talk about it without them hearing us."

"He can't be gone. I can't be too late." I sit back up and start to stand up, but the further away from my bunk I get the darker my vision becomes.


	16. Survival of the Fittest

**Survival of the Fittest**

 **Third POV**

Jasper rushes forward and catches Toby before she hits the ground. "We have to take her to medical. She's not okay."

"If we take her to medical, she might not come back Jasper." Miller reminds him.

Jasper nods his head and lowers Toby to the ground. "I know, but we can't take care of her. And Cage likes her." He drops his head into his hand. "Of course! Something must have happened with Cage."

"I'll help you get her to medical Jasper." Harper kneels down next to them and puts her arm under Toby's shoulders.

They both manage to stand her up and lean her on their shoulders. Slowly they shuffle out of the bunk room and into the hallway.

"There are two floors between us and medical, how do we get up there without looking suspicious?" Jasper asks quietly.

Harper adjusts Toby and grunts. "We take the damn elevator."

-/-

 **Toby POV**

I wake up to a grey ceiling, a fan spinning lazily above my face. My blurry eyes trace the circles it makes around and around. I don't remember much about what happened before I blacked out, but I would like to know how I got here.

I move to sit up but someone places a gentle hand on my shoulder. I look over and start to panic when Dr. Tsing comes and sits next to me.

"Your body shut down Tatianna. Why didn't you come to see me sooner?" Dr. Tsing asks me gently.

It's unnerving to hear her be so kind to me, when she's so busy draining so many of my friends.

"Because I hate hospitals." I respond. My hand muffling my speech.

She shakes her head. "No, that's not the reason." She sighs and crosses her legs. "We are aware your people know how we survive. That's the real reason you didn't want to come down here right?"

My brain is not awake enough to comprehend what she's saying. "I don't-"

"Now, Tatianna. You don't have to worry. Cage has taken a special interest in you. We won't be needing you for any of the regular citizens."

I shake my head slowly. "No Cage he… he-"

"Don't talk now hunny, you need to rest. Big week coming up." She injects something into my IV and I fall asleep involuntarily for the second time today.

-/-

 _A way too short chapter I know. I feel like I owe you all an explanation for my absence. I have been applying to university as I'm graduating high school this June. I've also been dealing with changing medications for my mental health and I've had no motivation to do anything. I know this chapter is super short and I'm sorry. I will hopefully be getting back to my usual stuff soon. Thanks for sticking with me!_


	17. Coup de Grace

**Coup de Grace**

 **Toby POV**

If I wake up tied to one more table, I might go insane. But here I am, an IV in my arm, tied to Cage's desk. If I felt up to it, I might kick his face in. I was never a violent person in my past life. But a combination of being sexually assaulted and unconscious multiple times today has brought it out of me.

I think whatever they are giving me in my IV is keeping me sedated and calm, well, not calm. That's the wrong word. Placid, that's more what I'm feeling, if you can call what's happening in my brain feeling.

Monty and the others are all alone out there, getting their blood drained and their bone marrow drilled out of their body. I suppose it's only a matter of time before it's my turn.

My eyes slowly flick upwards as Cage walks in with a massive team behind him. Two men are wheeling in a table and more follow them with medical equipment.

"Good morning, Toby! I'm so happy to see you so well rested." Dr. Tsing starts. "There's just a quick procedure we will be doing today. Don't worry, you need not move, we'll take care of everything."

She motions and two of the orderlies walk over and grasp my biceps. I start to feebly struggle against the men but Cage steps forward. "Now, now, we aren't going to have any problems here Toby. This is very important work we're doing."

"You can't just do this to people." My words slur together and I barely notice Dr. Tsing change my IV bag. "We are human beings too. Some more than you, it seems."

His fake smile drops and he bends down so we're eye to eye. "Right now, as we speak, your friends are having a small hole drilled deep into their bones. Seems only fair that you get to join in."

My eyes widen and the orderlies drop me face first onto the table. The drugs Dr. Tsing gave me make my movements sluggish and slow. I can't fight back when my limbs aren't responding. They strap me onto the table and something is happening that I can't see.

I feel a quick pinch in my back, then a blinding flash of pain. My whole body jerks against the restraints and I let out a blood-curdling scream. There's nothing left but pain and fire. They mix until all my thoughts are blank.

A few moments pass that feel like an eternity, and then everything stops. There's a bandage placed on my back, the restraints are undone and I'm back on the floor. This time there's no IV, but I'm still tied to Cage's desk.

"We will be back tomorrow, get some sleep." Cage strokes his hand down my cheek and smiles.

He steps away and the rest of the medical team follow, leaving all the equipment behind as it drips my blood onto the floor.

-/-

 **Bellamy POV**

"Bellamy, your people are disappearing." Maya's warning sends a shock through me. "Three so far. Monty, then Harper, then um… Toby. She disappeared after Harper and Jasper took her to medical."

"She's here?" We had all speculated where she had disappeared too. But now the confirmation that she had come back to the damned mountain.

Maya nods barely. "She is not okay. I don't think any of them are."

"I want to see the others." That's rational, I need to be rational. I cannot start making bad decisions right now because there are many other people I have to save. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. "Now."

"The dorm is on the way to the radio." She bounces up and down anxiously.

After her ripping Lovejoy's tag off my new vest we quickly and quietly sneak out of the containment center.

The hallways are quiet, there's concrete all around us, and very few people are walking around. The scariest part of this whole trip was the elevator situation. Maya leads me around the maze like corridors, through small halls and we finally reach the door to the dorms housing the rest of my people.

The door closes suddenly, and alarm blaring and locking them all inside. I make eye contact with Jasper and slowly turn back to Maya. "Get me to that radio."

-/-

"Camp Jaha this is Mount Weather. Does anyone read me?"

I say this over and over again, hoping for a response.

" _Bellamy?"_

Clarkes voice is shaky, and she sounds worried as always. "Clarke?"

" _Are you all right?"_

"I'm fine, but we have to talk fast. Something has changed. Jasper, Monty, everyone. They just locked them in the dorms." I don't mention Toby is still missing, because I don't know if she was taken back to the dorms and I just didn't see her.

" _But they're alive? All of them?"_

I can hear the question in her voice and I know what she's asking. "I think so. For now… Toby is still missing somewhere in here." I pause. "Maya says that they're already using their blood, and things are going to get ugly in here real fast."

" _Maya's with you?"_

"She helped me escape, without her I'd be dead." I stop and think, remembering walking past the school halls. "And Clarke. There are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn't kill everyone. Please tell me we have one."

" _We hear you, but we can't do anything until you disable the acid fog. Raven's going to help you."_

"Good, what else." I need more of a plan.

The radio starts to crackle. " _You have to figure out a way to free the grounder prisoners. There's a whole army inside that mountain and they don't even realize it."_

I nod. "Trojan horse. Good plan."

" _Bellamy, you need to find Toby."_

"I know Clarke, but Maya said she disappeared from medical." I shut my eyes tight, a headache building behind my eyes.

" _Cage. He might have her hidden."_

"I'll do what I can, but I will look for her after I let out the prisoners and disable the acid fog."

" _Be safe Bellamy."_

I smile. "You too Princess."


	18. Rubicon

**Rubicon**

 **Toby POV**

Cage comes back the next day, just as he promised. Only today, I'm strapped to the table face first. Great! Now I can suffer and see Cage's dumb face while my body is being destroyed.

"Yesterday we sedated you, Toby. Do you think you will make it through today's procedure without the drugs?" He smugly asks me.

I roll out my neck and hear it crack. "I think I'll be fine jackass."

He shrugs and lets out a small laugh. "If you say so."

He nods to the Dr. Tsing, and she comes forward with a surgical tray. She makes a small incision with a scalpel and then the drilling starts again. It's the same pain as yesterday, only closer to my face which makes it all the more terrifying.

Through my pain I vaguely hear Cage monologuing. "You should really scream less. Someone might hear you and walk in. This is a very compromising situation for you to be in Toby. Not very ladylike." He scoffs. "Not that you were ever a lady."

Dr. Tsing finally gets the bone marrow she needs for Cage and stops drilling. My chest heaves with the effort of breathing. "Shut. The Hell. Up." With every breath I managed to spit out another word.

"She's done for today President." Dr. Tsing bandages my collar bone and steps away.

Cage steps forward and rubs his hands together. "Excellent Doctor. Thank you very much."

I weakly lift myself into a sitting position. "You're President now?"

"Yes, unfortunately my father has had a health scare and stepped down." He puts his hands on my knees and leans in. "But now you get a change of scenery."

I lean away from Cage and almost collapse with the effort. "Oh yippie! I can't wait to be chained to another desk."

"At least you get actual chain this time and not just a rope. You'll be able to walk five feet." He assures me with acid in his voice.

I roll my eyes as guards surround me. "Yay me."

-/-

At least he left me with a book this time around. And I can stand up and move. I start to stretch when the doors unlock and Dr. Tsing walks in. No medical staff follow her, so I just stand and watch her movements.

"Two of your people are dead Tatianna. I thought you would want to know." She clasps her hands in front of her as she says this.

My eyes narrow. "You say this so bluntly. As if it doesn't matter."

"I'm helping bring my people to the ground. You must understand that." She sits on a chair, back straight.

I cock my head in disbelief. "You think you deserve it after this? When I was young I watched people bomb places in the name of a god. I watched immigrant children be ripped from their parents and locked in cages." I scoff. "You think you deserve the ground? You deserve to rot in this tomb."

"You were Canadian right?" She asks, completely disregarding everything I just said. "You don't seem as nice as the Canadians in our storybooks."

"Yes well, looks can be deceiving. Being locked in a place where my friends are murdered and our bodies are being used for parts really destroys the niceness." I say with sarcasm in my voice.

She stands up. "I must go. We're moving on to our third subject in an hour and I have to go prep for the procedure."

"I hope one day you feel triple the pain you're putting those kids through." I spit.

She doesn't even flinch, just continues to strut out the door. It slams and locks behind her. I pull on the chains until my wrists turn purple and start to bleed. I scream in desperation and fear, the last shred of hope I held evaporating into nothing.


	19. Resurrection

**Resurrection**

 **Toby POV**

No one has come for me yet, it's starting to worry me. Not Cage, nor Dr. Tsing, nor any of the orderlies who came with her. I haven't heard anything either, no alarms, and no signs of the Ark citizens coming to rescue us. So I sit, chained to Cage's desk with nothing to do and no chance of rescue in sight.

My body hurts, the hole in my spine has started to ache and I think it's become infected. There's nothing I can do. My wrists are blue and yellow, covered in scabs. I can't reach around me to change the bandage on my spine and I can barely change the one on my collar.

"You need something to eat?" A guard walks into the president's office, one hand on his gun.

I don't make eye contact with him. "I'm not hungry."

A few more walk in behind him and I finally raise my head. "You're coming with us." Two men step forward and unlock my restraints.

I shake out my wrists and stand up. "Where? They've always done my procedures in here."

"We need you to negotiate." They push me forward into the hall. "Up the stairs."

I feel a gun being pushed into the back of my head. I raise my hands and follow them up the stairs. The hallway we end up in is cloudy and they stop me in front of a barricade.

"Shout for help." One of them tells me.

I smirk. "You'll have to kill me first." I know that they can't because they need as much bone marrow as they can get.

"Or we have to do this the hard way." He lowers his gun and shoots me in the calf.

I let out a pained shriek and hear rustling from behind the barricade of furniture.

"Toby?"

"Who's that?"

I lean on my other leg and grit my teeth. "Don't take down the chairs. I'm fine."

The guard behind me whips the pistol at the back of my head, it cracks against my skull and I start to bleed. "You might not want this one safe, but what about your friend Maya?"

I can hear the radio over the wall of chairs and my eyes widen. I start to feel dizzy and I can hear them taking down the chairs slowly.

"Stop it!" My voice sounds weak.

I feel a kick against my spine and that's the last bit of pain my body can take standing up. I collapse onto the ground and with one last kick to the ribs the guards leave me there to bleed out.

A few moments later two people are grabbing me under the arms and dragging me into the barricaded room. Monty and Harper both lean over and fill my vision.

"Bellamy's coming to help us." Monty assures me.

I giggle quietly. "I saw Bellamy, he's at camp with all the other Ark people." I grab Harpers hand and roll my head over to look at her. "They tried to kill me. You were raised with wolves." I laugh again and Monty looks concerned.

He pats down my head and his hand comes away red with the blood from the pistol wound. He then reaches my collarbone and finds the hole drilled there. I grab his hand when I see the tears gathering in his eyes.

"It's not so bad." I nod, trying to reassure him. I hear Cage's voice in the hallway talking to guards.

My eyes widen as Monty looks around the room with worry. "We have to be gone when the smoke clears."

"You have to leave me." I push myself away from Monty and land on the ground. "You can't be dragging me around the mountain while you have to keep your people safe."

Monty drops to one knee. "I will not leave you Toby."

"Yes. You are. Now go." Tears gather in the corners of my eyes. "Cage won't kill me, Monty. He likes me too much."

I lean against a pillar and close my eyes. "We will come save you."

"Just tell Bellamy I'm okay." I stare up at him with pleading eyes. "Please, just do that."

He nods sadly and follows the other teens out. "I will. I promise."

Smoke fills the room and I cough, trying to cover my mouth as much as possible. I'm not very successful and soon my brain turns off and my vision blacks out once more.

-/-

 **Monty POV**

As the Ark prisoners start to run with their Mount Weather saviours, Jasper and I turn to Bellamy.

"Hey. We're coming with you." Jasper says boldly.

"No, you're not. They still don't know I'm here and I need to keep it that way." He explains.

I look over at Jasper quickly. "So what do we do?"

"Stay alive and be ready to fight." He looks at us both intensely. "War, is coming."

As Bellamy starts to walk away, I remember the promise I made to Toby. "Toby is fine Bellamy."

"You saw her?" He looks at me with an anxious fire lighting in his eyes. "Where is she?"

I turn away. "She's fine. She just wants out of this damn mountain."

"Monty. Where is she?" Now Bellamy is angry.

I shake my head. "She's with Cage." Bellamy swears and I step towards him. "Getting angry won't help her. We have to kill the mountain men and save everyone."

He looks at me coldly then turns and marches away. I look at Jasper, then we both run with the others into what is hopefully safe.


	20. Bodyguard of Lies

***Trigger Warning***

 **Bodyguard of Lies**

 **Bellamy POV**

Why wouldn't Monty have fought harder to keep Toby with them? She's here in this mountain somewhere and I can't save her yet. While I might be upset with Monty he was right, I can't save anyone if I'm angry.

Cage hurt her before she escaped the first time, and I don't know what has happened in the days she's been back. That girl may be stronger than the rest of us, but we all have to break at some point. I don't want this mountain to be what breaks the rest of her spirit. What hurts more than the idea of her being Cage's victim is the thought of her being drained and used as parts. There are already some of our people dead, and I don't know what I'd do if I find her body in a pit when this is all over.

I find the door to the source of the acid fog, but Lovejoy's keycard doesn't open the doors. Two soldiers come at me with their guns drawn and I take off at a run. All the alarms are blaring and I hear them announce my presence over the radio. Soon I round and corner, one guard chases me and I grab the gun, punching him repeatedly to knock him out.

When I scan his keycard at the door it opens, thankfully. I open the door quickly, when it slams shut behind me I'm quick to keep moving before those on the other side of his radio come to find his unconscious body.

-/-

 **Toby POV**

"Well, you're a terrible negotiator."

For the first time since I've been back in the mountain Cage is alone. "You actually came to see me. What? Had enough of the armed guards?"

"No, actually I just wanted to ask you a few questions myself."

The chair I'm strapped to is stainless steel and cold. I can't move my legs because my ankles are strapped to the legs, and my wrists are strapped to the arms. There's nowhere for me to move when he leans in and whispers in my ear.

I roll my eyes. "Good luck with that, I'm notoriously uncooperative." I can see I've frustrated him and I let a smile grace my face.

"I brought help." He pulls a knife from his pocket and lights places the tip on my thigh. "Now, shall we get started?"

I keep one eye on the knife, knowing Cage he'll use it. This isn't just an intimidation tactic. "I know nothing, I've been locked in your office for days."

"But you were in the room with them, your friends didn't tell you their plans?" The pressure on the knife increases and I try not to cringe as I feel it cut through my jeans.

I shake my head and close my eyes. "No, Cage they didn't tell me anything."

"Must not be good friends then." He stabs the blade an inch into my leg. "You sure they didn't say anything?"

I grit my teeth at the pain and smile at him, anyway. "There wasn't time once you started sending in smoke grenades."

"They couldn't care less about you. They left you in that room, to end up dead, or worse." He pulls the knife out and I can feel the blood seep into my jeans and drip down onto the ground.

He brings the blade up to my face and slowly cuts down my cheek. Blood runs into my mouth and I almost gag on the metallic taste. "Cage. Can you fucking stop?"

He draws back and cuts off my top. "I think your friends left you there on purpose, so they could get away and leave you as bait." He stabs the knife into my left shoulder, then my right, and litters deep cuts all over my chest. "I don't think they care what happens to you at all."

Tears start to trickle down my cheeks and sting the cut he made. "I told Monty to leave me there. I got shot in the leg, I was bleeding from the back of my head. What were they supposed to do, drag me along?"

Cage turns around and pulls out a pair of scissors. He walks behind me while I struggle against the straps keeping me in place. "They were supposed to say no. They were supposed to help you no matter what. Because that's what friends do."

Cage cuts off my hair, large chunks dropping to the ground. I can hear myself telling him to stop over and over until I'm screaming but he's still standing behind me cutting off my only tie to my previous life. "I didn't break you before, which wasn't surprising. You're strong. But I think I've done it now." He waves a hand and orderlies come in with scalpels and drills ready. "I will not kill you, Tatianna. You're just going to wish I had."


	21. Blood Must Have Blood: Part 1

**Blood Must Have Blood: Part 1**

 **Toby POV**

I hum the familiar song slowly, letting the tune take me back to my old life. Back to when Bria and I would spend long nights together, cuddled under my mound of blankets and quilts.

" _You're so beautiful." Bria nuzzles her head onto my shoulder while I trace the lines in her palm. "Everything about you."_

~It's been a long day without you my friend.~

 _I weave my fingers into hers and bring our hands close; I kiss her knuckles and she smiles gently. The blanket covering us casts a pale blue glow over her features, and it makes a pattern on her skin._

" _I love you T." She breathes. "Everything about you."_

~And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.~

 _This moment is quiet and calm like so many others we've spent together. Bria and I don't like to go out. We prefer to spend the time locked with each other, finding all the patterns in each other's eyes._

" _I love you too Bri." I twirl a lock of her hair around my finger. "To the moon and back."_

 _Out of the corner of my eye I see her roll hers. "Oh, I bet you love me to the stars and the galaxy."_

 _I laugh. "I love you so much I would sit and count the stars if you asked me too."_

~We've come a long way from where we began.~

" _I wouldn't ask you to count the stars, I'd miss you while you were gone." She rolls onto her stomach and stares up at me happily._

 _I smile. "It would only take me like, thirty years Bri."_

" _To count every single star?"_

 _I nod like I'm taking this seriously. "I'd miss you too much too. So I'd rush."_

~Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.~

-/-

There are tears pouring out of my eyes and I can't summon the willpower to stop them. I heard Cage's message over the announcement system hours ago. It was in between the sixth and seventh bone marrow extraction.

There's been a commotion in the halls outside, but no one has come in to the room where I'm staying. Cage hasn't come back to see me, so I'm assuming he's busy dealing with the war going on in his own house.

Cage wanted to break me, and I think he did a good job of it. I take stock of my injuries and find many. Broken bones, bullet wounds, cuts, holes, and probably brain damage. There's no energy left in my body to fight. I can't even summon the courage to fight back when two orderlies pick me up and drag me around Mount Weather. There are many hallways I lose track of and numbers I won't remember.

The walls go from concrete to rock and I understand now that I'm about to die, either that or I'm about to watch everyone I know die. We enter a room with a black medical chair and bright lights. There are Ark kids chained together lining one wall. Some of them call my name but I can't bring myself to look up. To look them in the eye when I know they're about to die a slow and painful death.

"Where do you want this one?" A guard asks.

The other shakes his head. "Chain her arms over here. Cage wants her to watch this."

A random face comes into view and smirks and me. "Lucky you getting special treatment from the President."

If he's expecting a reaction, he doesn't get one. I just stare blank faced into his eyes. Showing no emotion and doing my best not to cry at the situation before me. When I bring myself to look up, I catch the eye of Miller, Harper and various others.

They look worried, but there's nothing I can do to help them. There's nothing I can do to help any of us.


	22. Blood Must Have Blood: Part 2

**Blood Must Have Blood: Part 2**

 **Toby POV**

People keep dying, they're all dropping like flies. Fox cries as the life seeps out of her body, she doesn't scream like the rest do. We're all bloody, beaten and broken and hearing the cries of a friend makes the conviction leave every one.

At some point there are guards that come in bringing more of Ark soldiers with bags over their heads. "On their knees." The headguard instructs the others as a door opens and Cage walks in.

"We take any losses?" He asks, looking around the room with distaste.

Blondie shakes his head. "Not as many as they did, sir." He pauses. "I'm afraid I'm the only one left who's cured. Some kids are still missing. If you like, I'll take a team in haz mats and sweep the other levels."

Cage looks at me when he responds. "No. No more wasted lives. In forty-eight hours we'll all be on the ground." He gestures to the Ark people kneeling on the ground. "Take off their hoods."

They remove the hoods to reveal a teenager girl, Miller's dad, Kane and Dr. Griffin. Abby finds my blank gaze and responds with a sad one.

Kane steps towards me and brushes a hand down my cheek. He leans in to whisper to me, "I'd kiss you, but I'll wait until you get cleaned up once this is all over."

He pulls away and smiles at my lack of reaction once he steps out the door I grimace and watch as they chain up the new arrivals. This is like living in a nightmare

-/-

 **Third POV**

"Command centers live." Monty says anxiously as the screens boot to life.

All the security feeds throughout the mountain are front and center, but the only TV they can watch is the dorm security feed showing Raven being tortured.

"Oh, my god." Clarke mutters under her breath.

"Is that Raven?" Bellamy asks angrily.

Monty points the camera around the room and Clarke steps forward to get a better look. "Mom?" The camera pans to the other corner and a pixilated image of Toby appears. "Toby?" Clarkes voice cracks.

Bellamy storms to the radios and grabs one, forcing it at Dante. "Tell them to stop! Now!"

"I won't do that." Dante stands his ground.

Clarke looks to the camera showing the dining room. "Emerson." She mumbles. Clarke grabs the radio from Bellamy's hands and turns it on. "Carl Emerson. Mount Weather security detail, come in."

" _Who is this?"_ The radio crackles to life.

"You know who it is." Clarke baits the man. "Give the radio to the President."

The group shifts to follow Emerson and Cage out into the hallway.

" _This is President Wallace."_

"I have your father." Clarke stares at the image of the president on the TV screens. "If you don't let my people go, I'll kill him."

" _How do I know you have him?"_ Even without the TV screens everyone could hear the annoyance in Cage's voice.

Clarke holds the radio up to Dante so he can speak. "Stay the course Cage."

" _You won't do it."_ Now his voice is anxious, and low.

"You don't know me very well." Clarke goads him. "This ends now. Release my people."

" _I can't do that."_

"It would mean the end of our people Clarke." Dante tells her plainly.

She doubts that this plan will work, then steels herself and whips the gun out pointing it at Dante.

Bellamy steps forwards quickly. "Clarke, we need him." He reasons.

"And I need his son to believe me." She raises the radio to her lips. "Don't make me do this."

" _Dad. I'll take care of our people."_ They watch Cage hesitate on the screens.

Dante's eyes widen. "None of us has a choice here, Clarke."

"I didn't want this." Clarke says sadly.

Cage runs, and they follow his path until he reaches the dorm with all the Ark people. He holds the radio up to Toby.

" _Clarke?"_

They all whip their faces to the screen as the radio crackles with her voice. She's hurting.

"Toby? Are you okay?"

" _Clarke what are you doing?"_

Tears gather in the corner of Clarke's eye. "What needs to be done."

" _You don't have to do this. There's always another way."_

Clarke turns off the safety. "Not here." She pulls the trigger and shoots Dante above the heart. Cage listens to his father die and his grip on Toby's shoulder tightens. "Cage listen to me. I don't want anyone else to die. Stop the drilling and we can talk. There must be a way to get us all out of this."

-/-

 **Toby POV**

Hearing Clarkes voice over the radio cements the pain growing in my heart. Hearing Dante die doesn't do much to help. She sounds like she's in agony, like she's holding the weight of the world on her shoulders and in some ways, I suppose she is.

"Take that one off the table." The tech doesn't move as Cage asks for Raven to be moved. "Now!"

The tech unbuckles Raven as Cage looks over at me. "Put her on it."

"Wait." My voice cracks. "Please Cage. Not again."

He shakes his head. "Should have been a better negotiator."

As the guards strap me to the table, I don't fight. Those strapped to the walls negotiate with Cage about donating bone marrow. It doesn't matter; I have no energy left. If they drill, I will die here.

Cage keeps eye contact with me as they cut open my jeans. The drill nears my knees, the only places left without holes drilled into them. It cuts through my skin and I only cringe at the noise it makes.

"Please Cage, if you had asked, people would have helped willingly." I stutter through my sentence as tears drip down my face.

"That would have never happened."

My chest heaves as it becomes harder and harder to breathe. "Cage, this is killing people." Black and white spots cloud my vision and I let out a sob. "Please, just stop."

"I need to save my people Toby, this is the only way." He stares straight ahead, now he's not even making eye contact.

I shiver, even though it's not cold. The drill makes all my bones vibrate and I can even feel it in my teeth. It becomes hard to focus and I wonder if this is what the beginning of death feels like.

Something is happening, alarms blair and guards drop. No one comes at me with a drill again. I rock my head back and forth, trying to gain some energy back. My eyes are fuzzy and I can't focus on anything. Someone comes and undoes the restraints holding me to the table. I think they're asking me if I can walk.

I try to nod, but all that happens is my head lolling onto their shoulder. "You will be okay."

"Bellamy?" It sounds like him but I can't be sure.

He sweeps me off my feet and I lean my head on him. "I'm sorry- sorry I left."

"Shh, we can deal with it all later."

-/-

I wake up in the medical sector of the fallen Ark. There's no one around me and I push myself up. I test my leg and find it aches, but I can push through it to get out of here. My spine aches and all the places they drilled feel like they were patched with pins and needles. I grit my teeth and shuffle out of the wing. There aren't any people in the Ark, they're all outside enjoying the sun.

"Toby!"

I spin around when I hear Monty calling me. He's standing with Bellamy and Harper. I wobble over to them, but when they notice me having difficulty, they run to meet me.

I wrap my arms around Monty's neck and fall into his hug. I hear someone crying and I realize it's me. He rubs my back and tells me it's okay. He helps me stand and I'm pulled into another embrace, this one from Bellamy.

He cups my face in one hand and smiles at me. "Everything will be okay."


	23. Wanheda: Part 1

**Wanheda: Part 1**

 **Toby POV**

I am not a cynic, nor will I ever be a cynic. However, I like to think I am a realist. The last few months of my life have felt like hell. I have been pushing everyone away, I've been rude and harsh. When Bellamy tries to ask me what happened in _his_ office, I scoff and shut him out. I'm surprised he's still asking.

I'm jolted out of my mindless daydreaming when Monty slowly climbs the hill up to where I'm sitting. He's come to ask me to join the expedition.

"It'll be a cold day in hell when I willingly enter that prison." I tell Monty blankly.

For a moment I feel bad for making Monty climb the mountain. He's out of breath and red faced. He looks at me sadly and I can barely stand to make eye-contact with him. He's barely holding himself together, Jasper and I aren't making things any easier.

"You have to come back in at some point, Toby." Monty reasons. "We need your help. I need your help."

I sneer. "I was never any help before, what makes now different."

"We're all just worried about you." He comes and kneels down in front of me. "And you're the only one that can deal with Jasper."

I roll my eyes and hear the rumble of the Rover engine. "Is Bellamy coming to pick us up?"

"Yeah, he'll be here any second."

Right as Monty finishes his sentence, the Rover pulls up and stops. Bellamy and I make eye contact as I move to the back of the Rover to get in. He looks so worn out and tired that some part of me wants to reach out and hold him. What do I do though? I slam the backdoor open and Monty and I jump in.

"Morning gents." I greet the boys. Raven and I nod to each other in understanding.

A bit into the ride, Jasper plugs his MP3 into the stereo and blares music through the Rover. It heightens the mood of everyone, and it lifts some tension. Nothing lasts forever, and the radar blares. Monty quickly jumps into the front seat to find out what's going on.

"A tracking beacon from the Arc. Farm station." He presses a few more buttons and locates the beacon. "Sector 8."

"Ice Nation." Miller mutters.

I turn to Jasper as the others discuss what to do. "Are you drunk?"

"Just hungover." He shakes his head and pats my knee. "Are you coming back into camp anytime soon?"

I pull away from him as the Rover starts again. "I don't like all the rusty metal."

"Rules of engagement are non-lethal force, Toby, you stay in the Rover." Bellamy shouts orders as we reach the Azgeda border.

I scoff and push forward. "Not a chance.

"They're coming. 120 metres." Monty walks forward. "110."

Bellamy puts a hand out to stop him. We all hear the hoofbeats approaching us, riders on white horses pull to a halt in front of us all.

"Ice Nation?" Bellamy asks carefully.

Octavia grits her teeth. "Yes, white war paint. Stay calm." She moves forward to talk to the riders.

" _ **Who are you?"**_ The first scout says angrily.

" _ **Skaikru, looking for our people."**_ Octavia approaches them with her arms up, showing she holds no weapon.

The other rider looks sceptic. " _ **Looking for Wanheda."**_

Monty notices the beacon tied to one of the scouts. "The light! That's the beacon."

Jasper staggers towards the beacon, and I follow behind him. "Jasper stop! What are you doing?" I grab his vest but he just shrugs me off. I turn to the others desperately.

"Tell them we observe the commander's truce, do it now!" Bellamy urges Octavia.

Jasper grabs the beacon off the scout. "This belongs to us." The scout stares at me as he quickly flips Jasper around and holds a knife to his throat.

" _ **Where is Wanheda."**_

I take a step forward. "I don't know, please put the knife down." I reach out a hand and the scout swipes at me, drawing a cut down my forearm.

" _ **We don't know who that is. Please! We can help each other!"**_ Octavia tries to reason with the scout to let Jasper go.

Jasper smiles. " _ **You think this is funny?"**_ The scout cuts his throat but Bellamy shoots him before he can finish the cut.

I drop down next to Jasper, ignoring the blood dripping from my arm. "Are you an idiot." I pull a strip of cloth off my shirt and press it against his neck. "Are you trying to die."

I pull him up and towards the Rover. "I'm fine thanks for asking." Octavia hands me a bolt of fabric to wrap around his neck.

I push Jasper towards the horses. "I will kill you myself I swear to god."

-/-

"Open the gate!"

"Jasper's hurt!" Octavia tells an approaching Abby.

I turn and watch the Arc citizens shut the gate, closing off the forest. Abby gently touches my shoulder. "Let me look at your arm inside."

I follow her into the Arc and sit where she gestures. "It's not that deep." She watches me as her exam causes me to wince.

"It will actually need stitches. One moment." She turns away and I grab some gauze off the tray and quickly move out of the med bay.

I hear her yell out for me and I bump into someone on the way out. Lincoln grabs my shoulders to steady me and then continues on his way.

Reaching the apartment I share with Monty, I collapse onto the bed and sob as I wrap the gauze around my aching arm. I curl into a ball, grasping my arm close to my chest as I let the dull throb of my cut lull me into a restless sleep.


End file.
